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[ June 9, 2017 ] Youth Pastor Announces that Masturbation is Healthy and Does Not Make You Gay, Church Burns to Ground Ask Lonnie
[ June 9, 2017 ] Lonnie Childs Cleared as Suspect in Brutal Murder B.L.U.F.F.
[ March 6, 2017 ] Self-Celibacy in History: Dunkirk History
[ February 8, 2017 ] SMN Ministries Announces Boycott and Protest of Masturbation Movie “A Cure For Wellness” Big Masturbation
[ February 5, 2017 ] Trump to Impose Masturbation Ban Politics

Ask Lonnie

Youth Pastor Announces that Masturbation is Healthy and Does Not Make You Gay, Church Burns to Ground

Cason, TX is a small community, barely on the map and tucked deep inside NE Texas among pine trees and red clay earth. Proud people live there – good people of God, quick to lend [...]
B.L.U.F.F.

Lonnie Childs Cleared as Suspect in Brutal Murder

SAFFORD, Ariz. – The FBI is now involved in the case of a murdered Lonvidian woman, found dead in her home early Tuesday morning. Safford police confirmed they are no longer considering Lonnie Childs to [...]
History

Self-Celibacy in History: Dunkirk

History books are most certainly slanted by the forces of Big Masturbation. In modern times, it’s a literal crime that our precious youth must be forced to incorporate horrible inaccuracies and filth interjected from the [...]
Big Masturbation

SMN Ministries Announces Boycott and Protest of Masturbation Movie “A Cure For Wellness”

“And when the LORD saw it, he abhorred them, because of the provoking of his sons, and of his daughters.” — Deut 32.19 In an expected move, SMN Ministries has announced its intention to protest [...]
Politics

Trump to Impose Masturbation Ban

President Trump confirms he is about to authorize a “ban” on masturbators migration, new restrictions on entry from countries with a history of masturbation. “It’s countries that have tremendous self-rape,” Trump told SMN News in [...]

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