Archive for July, 2014

Canine Gigantism Outbreak Hits U.S. East Coast

Canine Gigantism Outbreak Hits U.S. East Coast

Jessica King started to notice something was wrong with her prized Golden Retriever, “Rusty”. “Rusty” began eating excessive amounts of dog food and even King’s neighbors noticed that he seemed to be growing larger every day. King, distraught, took “Rusty” to the local veterinarian who was equally baffled. “Rusty”‘s diet […]

by July 24, 2014 11 comments Faith Graph, Trending
Whoa! Would you get a load of that sinkhole?

Siberian Village Lost Due To Asian Masturbation’s Impact On Global Environment

SIBERIA- COMMUNIST U.S.S.R C.C.C.P (SMNNN) An entire village in Siberia has been swallowed into a huge crater, and masturbation is definitely the cause, leading Faithscientists say. Leading Faithclimatetologist, Dr Skippy Enis, recently involved in an atomic meltdown explosion at B.L.U.F.F Graphcenter , and fresh from life saving surgery, explains the […]

Which AIDS would you prefer?

FaithFact™ Graphic: Good AIDS vs. Bad AIDS

God Bless, TheRev Leroy Jenkins

by July 23, 2014 28 comments Faith Graph
Parents around the world are waking up to the fact that pornographics can be found on the World Wideweb (www)

“Pornography? On MY SON’S Computer?”

**BREAKING MASTURBATION ALERT** Parents, it has recently come to my attention that pornograpics, i.e., explicit sexual material, can be found on the World Wideweb (www).  Have you ever wondered what your son is doing whenever you are not around?  Chances are he is locked away in his bedroom, self-raping to […]

NFL kicking sensation on short list of candidates for South Dakota's Council of Morality

Tina’s Law Passed in South Dakota

As part of STOP Masturation NOW’s ongoing mission to eradicate masturbation, Lonnie Childs has sponsored legislature in 18 of the 50 states to make masturbation illegal. Tina’s Law (named after black pop singing sensation Tina Turner) makes masturbation illegal and sets up a “Council of Morality” appointed by Brother Lonnie […]

Obama Criticized By Liberals For Anti-Masturbation Bill Distraction

Obama Criticized By Liberals For Anti-Masturbation Bill Distraction

WASHINGTON, D.C. — (SMNNN) President Barack Obama is under fire from his liberal base after taking time out of his busy schedule to entertain an anti-masturbation bill being proposed by a cadre of conservative politicians. It is noteworthy that the President is making himself available at this time with the […]

by July 23, 2014 12 comments Politics
Explosion at B.L.U.F.F. Graphcenter Kills Two

Explosion at B.L.U.F.F. Graphcenter Kills Two

  SAFFORD, ARIZONA. B.L.U.F.F GRAPHCENTER (SMNNN) A terrible explosion ripped it’s way across the B.L.U.F.F Graphcenter at 2:32 a.m. on July 20th, 2014, killing two interns and wounding dozens. The B.L.U.F.F Graphcenter, state of the art graph production center, is the most expensive graph production facility in the world. Officials […]

3 Albums With A Secret Anti-Masturbation Agenda

3 Albums With A Secret Anti-Masturbation Agenda

I previously discussed popular songs that had a committed message of anti-masturbation; even more rare, however, is the anti-masturbation concept album. There have been several over the years and I’m going to detail three today. Well, more like two and one that started out that way before a defection of […]

by July 22, 2014 27 comments Celebrity, Trending
Hulk Hogan, American, Tries To Break Masturbation Record; Fails

Hulk Hogan, American, Tries To Break Masturbation Record; Fails

TAMPA, FLA — (SMNNN) Former B movie actor (Muppets from Space, Wrestlemania III)  and current belt merchant, Hulk Hogan, received a severe injury to his hand after trying in vain to beat Hugo Lopez’s recent World Record for Masturbation. Hogan, 60, sometimes forgets he’s not the character, Hulk Hogan, that he played […]

by July 22, 2014 12 comments Celebrity, Spot a Masturbator
Constant Prayer Circle at SMN Teen Campaway Makes Colored Man Normal

Constant Prayer Circle at SMN Teen Campaway Makes Colored Man Normal

Safford, AZ- in an amazing show of Lonnie’s power and the love of our Lord, youth at our annual BLUFF Teen Campaway outing performed a 65 hour prayer circle for the janitor on site. Unaware that he was being prayed for, James Willford, a former agnostic and admitted African-American, claims […]

by July 22, 2014 20 comments Lonnie Childs
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