T’was The Night Before Lonnsmas

December 24, 2015 0

This Lonnsmas Eve, we fellow Normals would like to share a poem written by Augustus Weizmoore in 1801: THE NIGHT BEFORE LONNSMAS T’was the night before Lonnsmas, and all through the campound, Not a Normal […]

Nativity in Blackface

December 22, 2015 6

The holiday season is upon us once again. Like always, secularists and masturbators are trying to distract everyone from the true meaning of Christmas. Unfortunately, this very holy and wonderful holiday is being tarnished by […]

Hollywood Bad Boy Charlie Sheen Reveals That He Has the HIV-AIDS!

December 21, 2015 4

Hollyweird, CA – Hollywood bad boy Charlie Sheen, star of the homosexual situation-comedy program Two and 1/2 Half Man, announced that he has been punished by God for masturbating and has been cursed with the HIV-AIDS.  Those who have been monitoring Sheen’s masturbatory […]

Fappy Sentenced To Eight Years Imprisonment

December 2, 2015 9

SAFFORD AZ (SMNNN) Paul Horner, the man inside the Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin furry mascot suit has been sentenced to eight years in federal prison following his arrest for accosting sea-animals at Sea World aquarium. […]

BLUFF Turns Away Syrian Self-Rapists

November 17, 2015 2

SAFFORD-AZ Brother Lonnie’s University of FaithFacts (BLUFF) has vowed not to accept any refugees from Syria into their campus in response to the revelation that masturbators may have entered Europe as part of a wave […]

Save Not Shame! It’s what Lonnie Would Do.

November 17, 2015 1

EDITORIAL (SMNNN) During these tumultuous times, vicious rumors, and terrible evil seem to have befallen us all, which, is no doubt, the fault of masturbators ruining the Earth as the make themselves pawns to the […]

Top Five Self-Rape Detterents

November 13, 2015 6

B.L.U.F.F RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT, SAFFORD AZ (SMNNN) Even though the STOP masturbation NOW Ministries are busy fighting heathens, non-Normals, heretics, Big Masturbation, and Common sLIEnce, we can’t be there to help everyone beat off Satan […]

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