Internets Meems Warning!

January 31, 2015 13

WARNING: Do not be tricked by certain internets meems. Some may appear to be spiritual and comforting, my dear friends in Christ through Brother Lonnie, but they are merely a ploy by Big Masturbation to […]

New Downs Discovered, Masturbation To Blame

January 30, 2015 7

U.K. B.L.U.F.F BIOSCIENCE CAMPOUND (SMNN) A shocking statistic released by the U.K.B.L.U.F.F.B.C revealed the results of the extensive several pages of data collected by myself, and various other SMN Deacons and Elders, such as Cassidy […]

How to Keep Minorities from Ruining Your Super Bowl

January 30, 2015 8

(StopMasturbationNow)—This Sunday is Super Bowl XLIX (49 for the uneducated). This year’s game pits Tom Brady and the New England Patriots against the defending Champion Seattle Mariners. The game will be broadcast live from University […]

New Female Masturbation Solution

January 30, 2015 20

Brother Lonnie’s Anti-Masturbation Research and Development team has recently completed work on one of their most ambitious projects to date; a contraption that serves as a solution to the female masturbation problem. The new product, […]

Masturbator Marries Herself

January 30, 2015 7

Houston TX (SMNN) A great offense against Our Lords took place in Houston, Texas, when a non-Normal-lesser-gendered married her own self, most likely, having caused the baby Jesus to weep on the cross out of […]

So Long Obama

January 29, 2015 12

You know you’re on the way out It’s just a matter of time You thought you’d rule the world forever Long live Lonnie, don’t spare the loser After all, you’re not what you thought you […]

Will Farrell Shows Obama 2 Girls 1 Can

January 28, 2015 6

(StopMasturbationNow)—Obama is a terrible president. No wonder he can be found here laughing at the grotesque film “2 girls 1 can” on an Macintosh ipad. Will Farrell is best known for starring in the Vacation […]

Masturbation: This can happen to you!

January 28, 2015 11

Sickening, isn’t it?  Meet Chad Hollingsworth.  Before his life reached this miserable state of outright depravity, Chad was a busy yet successful tax attorney with a beautiful same-race wife, three God-fearing Normal children, and a […]

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