Halloween vs Jesus Ween

October 30, 2015 8

For more information about Halloween visit: TheSatanicTemple.com
For more information about Jesus Ween visit: JesusWeen.com

Original post found at Save Portland From

Saint-Shaming is NOT Okay

October 28, 2015 6

Once upon a time, our white-male-cis-hetero Forefathers were instructed by God to construct a vessel of righteousness and flee the wicked and perverse generation of the Church of England. Anglicans had legalized marijuana and masturbation, thereby ushering in the long decline of Western civilization. The Puritans and/or Pilgrims sought to separate themselves from the cancer which had overtaken their homeland and worship the Judeo-Christian deity in peace and freedom, unmolested by their liberal countrymen who forced their godless agenda deep […]

Edward Scissorhands: The Best Anti-Masturbation Documentary Ever Filmed

October 21, 2015 10

I recently had the pleasure of watching the anti-masturbation documentary film Edward Scissorhands  on the HBO.  It must drive liberal Hollywood crazy that a moral film such as this has become such a massive hit!  The creators of this uplifting, moral movie deserve to be recognized.  Sleazy Hollywood would never bestow any kind of award or additional attention on a film such as this on their own, so we must take to the streets!  Please contact the Academy of Motion Movies and […]

Have Architects Uncovered the Ancient Town of Saddam?

October 19, 2015 0

By: Cassidy Pen, SMN Sclience Reporter

Arabia, Middle East – Newly discovered artifacts from an architectural dig has uncovered what is most likely the ancient birth place of the late despotic Iraqi Ruler, Saddam.

The fiery fate of the doomed city of Saddam has captured the imaginations of archaeologists and world politics wonks for more than a decade. For many years, speculation as to the exact spot of Saddam was debated, but no doubt of the “horror” that “rained down burning sulfur” […]

The SMN Ethnic Outreach Program Reaches Mexicans With La Anti-Masturbación Cross®

October 19, 2015 9

Los padres, has lo que nunca imaginó que su hijo masturbándose? ¿Le preocupa lo que hacen cuando vuelves la espalda? ¿Tienes miedo de que van a caer en las garras de Satanás?No te preocupes más! Presentación de la Anti-Masturbación Cross®! Diseñado por PARADA Masturbación EMPRESA ingenieros, este dispositivo de restricción maravillosa le permite seguir con su día sin la persistente sospecha de que su descendencia están tratando a sus cuerpos como una especie de pervertido parque de diversiones.Ahora con descuento […]

The Faces of Masturbation: “Reginald D.”

October 16, 2015 7

The heartbreaking story of “Reginald D.” is a classic case of an individual who self-raped so often and so vigorously that he eventually became bored with his own sin-scepter and chose to become a hardcore homosexual in order to experience the thrill of new ones.  He is now known throughout the homosexual community by his codename, “Rocket Man”, for reasons which I will not detail here (this is a family-friendly netsite).

Someone needs to save his life tonight, and that “Someone” […]

Church Leaders and Parents are Under Arrest for Spanking “The Gay” out Of Their Children

October 15, 2015 5

As reported earlier today by the Associated Press, the parents of Lucas and Christopher Leonard, along with other members of the Word of Life Church, were arrested for Spanking The Gay out of these young men. The apparent beating took place during an intervention at the church itself.  According to prosecutors, the actual charge is “manslaughter”, given the fact that both men died before their homosexuality could be subdued.

Much like SMN Ministries, the World of Life Church functions as both […]

WNBA Season Comes to a Close

October 14, 2015 0

(StopMasturbationNOW)—This seasons WNBA season has come to a close. Sometime in the last couple of months the regular season ended and a champion was crowned we assume.
The WNBA is a lot like the NBA except where in the NBA both genders are welcome the WNBA excludes men to give women a chance to play and show up fundamentals like bounce passing and lay ups.



In Other Basketball News:

Lamar Odom

Another casualty of the Kardashians… If wrecking Bruce Jenner wasn’t enough, Lamar Odom […]

Is Your Daughter Paying for a Facial?

October 13, 2015 19

(StopMasturbationNOW)—This week we have a question from a loyal follower and father.


“Hi, my daughter just went away to college and I see that she has a weekly cash withdrawal out of her account every Friday for $40 cash. I asked her about it and she said it’s for her “Friday facial”. I did a web search and I was shocked at the images and videos I found. What should I do?“ Brian Dailey


Thank you for writing Brian. Unfortunately, in today’s […]

Family Values Approved Halloween Ghost Cookies Recipe

October 12, 2015 3

(StopMasturbationNOW)— Fall is one of the best times of the year. Hard working Americans get to reap the fruits of their labor, football is back, and baseball gets its World Series. But another one of the best things of the fall is Halloween and all the fun costumes and treats. Today we share one of the best treats of the year…Ghost Cookies.


Here are the ingredients your wife will need:

22 chocolate wafer cookies
1 envelope (2-3/4 tsp) unflavored gelatin
1 cup granulated sugar
Brown […]

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