Archive for November, 2015

Brother Lonnie Childs Declares The Ten Commandments Now The Eleven Commandments

Brother Lonnie Childs Declares The Ten Commandments Now The Eleven Commandments

B.L.U.F.F CAMPOUND, SAFFORD AZ (SMNNN) Brother Lonnie Childs revealed today, that God himself, in all his Godly splendor and wisdom, decreed unto Brother Lonnie the command to augment the traditional Ten Commandments, and replace them throughout the Christian world with the New Eleven Commandments. The Eleven Commandments remain largely unchanged […]

by November 18, 2015 3 comments History, Lonnie Childs, Morals, Premier, Trending, World
BLUFF Turns Away Syrian Self-Rapists

BLUFF Turns Away Syrian Self-Rapists

SAFFORD-AZ Brother Lonnie’s University of FaithFacts (BLUFF) has vowed not to accept any refugees from Syria into their campus in response to the revelation that masturbators may have entered Europe as part of a wave of migrants from the war-torn region. The move complicates the Obama administration’s plan to accept […]

by November 17, 2015 2 comments Foreigners
Save Not Shame! It’s what Lonnie Would Do.

Save Not Shame! It’s what Lonnie Would Do.

EDITORIAL (SMNNN) During these tumultuous times, vicious rumors, and terrible evil seem to have befallen us all, which, is no doubt, the fault of masturbators ruining the Earth as the make themselves pawns to the sick, evil, plans of Satan. But recently, we have all had to make sacrifices, and […]

by November 17, 2015 1 comment Compound News, Fappy, King Lonald Holy Bible, Lonnie Childs
Paul Horner aka Fappy the Anti-Masturbation Dolphin MUST GO NOW

Paul Horner aka Fappy the Anti-Masturbation Dolphin MUST GO NOW

The grumblings have going on for some time among the Stop Masturbation NOW elders and I in good conscience must come out and say: Paul Horner aka Fappy the Anti-Masturbation Dolphin MUST GO NOW! The man is a disgrace to Brother Lonnie’s outreach efforts to poor and disenfranchised children who […]

Top Five Self-Rape Detterents

Top Five Self-Rape Detterents

B.L.U.F.F RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT, SAFFORD AZ (SMNNN) Even though the STOP masturbation NOW Ministries are busy fighting heathens, non-Normals, heretics, Big Masturbation, and Common sLIEnce, we can’t be there to help everyone beat off Satan all the time. As such, we have devoted a huge amount of resources and over […]

by November 13, 2015 6 comments Lonnie Childs, Self-Rape Prevention
Photo courtesy of ESPN.  All Rights Reserved

ESPN Actively Encouraging Men to Commit Sex Acts Upon Each Other

In today’s masturbation-fueled world, it should come to no surprise that Disney’s own ESPN has a segment on their NFL Sunday Pre-Game show called (of all things) “C’Mon Man!!!” As you know, cumming on a man is something only another man can do, as women are not physically capable of […]

by November 13, 2015 7 comments Moral Outrage
Don’t Celebrate “Veterans Day”, Instead Celebrate “AMERICAN Veterans Day!”

Don’t Celebrate “Veterans Day”, Instead Celebrate “AMERICAN Veterans Day!”

  It’s that time of year again, when we thank those who have sacrificed so much so that the rest of us can dominate the world.  Unfortunately, many so-called “Americans” tend to celebrate the military veterans of their country of origin instead of the greatest military superpower of the world, […]

by November 10, 2015 8 comments American Veterans Day
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