Archeologists find Ancient Anti-Masturbation Glove

January 25, 2016 6

(StopMasturbationNOW)— Archeologists from the Wyoming institute of Technology discovered evidence of an ancient society that was obviously ant-masturbation. Digging in the foothills of the Crimea, a team of 12 men found a metal glove designed […]

Is an Absent Father to Blame for Masturbation?

January 15, 2016 10

The rise of feminism in the US has encouraged many women to become single-parents. In these families, the only contribution the father makes is in the form of child-support payments.  While only 20% of the […]

David Bowie Dead Of Cancer

January 11, 2016 52

ENGLAND, PROBABLY, MAYBE SCOTLAND (SMNNN) Horrible androgen Martian-spider/human hybrid Sex-goblin rockpop icon, and profuse masturbator David Bowie succumbed to various masturbation related cancers today, he was 69 years old. Bowie, long an androgynous mess of […]

Is Masturbation Destroying The Climate?

January 6, 2016 37

SAFFORD AZ (SMNNN) A chilling result of a study, released by Brother Lonnie’s University of Faithfacts, and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow, entitled: “Masturbation Residue And It’s Effects On The Global Climate “ outlines […]

Self-Purity: The Newest Teenage Fad?

January 6, 2016 10

It seems like every generation is more confused than the generation before it. In the 50’s it was “cool” to wear poodle skirts and comb your hair. In the 60’s, it was “hip” to dress […]

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