It’s that time of year again, when we thank those who have sacrificed so much so that the rest of us can dominate the world. Unfortunately, many so-called “Americans” tend to celebrate the military veterans of their country of origin instead of the greatest military superpower of the world, The United States.
This largely goes unnoticed unless you know what to look for. Typically, the modern day Benedict Arnold will greet you and say “Happy Veterans Day.” A patriotic American will instead say “Happy American Veterans Day.” For those of you who hear “Happy Veterans Day,” you should know what that person is really saying.
Typically, you can determine which military the “Happy Veterans Day” person is actually celebrating by the spelling and pronunciation of their last name. Below is a helpful guide to understanding what allegiance people really have on this day:
- The French: People with too many “L”s in their last name, or have a two-word last name that starts with the word “De” are typically French. “De Clerk” and De Gaul” are examples of this. When one of these people wish you a Happy Veterans Day, they are actually celebrating the French surrender to the Nazis during WWII.
- The English: These people are hard to spot, as most of them have adopted American last names. However, unless they greet you with “Happy American Veterans Day” they are probably celebrating their victory over Argentina in the Fauklin’s War. Either way, let them know that we don’t have room for their Limey views here.
- Mexicans: Mexican last names typically end with the letter “Z.” Ramirez, Lopez and Hernandez are just a few Mexican names to look out for. Our hostile neighbor to the south has only two victories to their name. They defeated an invasion of the French, on May 5th (Cinco de Mayo) and they also defeated the Spanish, by making Mexico so unbearable for the civilized Spanish that they eventually left. Either way you look at it, neither is worthy of your praise.
- The Spanish: Spanish names are similar to Mexican names and even sound the same. The only difference is that they end in an “S” instead of a “Z.” The only notable military victory in the history of Spain was the famous “El Cid” who went on a racist campaign to rid Spain of Black people. If a person of Spanish decent wishes you “Happy Veterans Day,” understand that they are celebrating one of the biggest racists of all time. They might as well put a burning cross in your yard.
- The Irish: Names that have an “O” or “Fitz” at the beginning are usually Irish. O’Neil and Fitzpatrick, are examples of this. The only thing close to an Irish Veteran is an IRA terrorist and the only thing and Irishmen has overcome lately is a hangover.
- Snow Mexicans (Canadians): Like the English, Snow Mexican names are similar to American names. So how will you know if you are talking to a Snow Mexican? Aside from showing obvious signs of masturbation addiction, they will usually come right out and tell you that they are “Canadian”. Snow Mexicans have only fought in one war, The War of 1812, where they fought alongside the English. And while real Americans like Andrew Jackson sent the English packing, it was the inferior Liberal Americans from Massachusetts that sent the Snow Mexicans packing.
Are you a person of questionable heritage? Do you want to let everyone know you are a real American? Join the rest of America and wish the next panhandler in a green jacket you see with a “Happy American Veterans Day.”