Harambe is Slang for Male Masturbation

Dear Lonnie,

My 13 Year-old son wants to buy a Harambe t shirt. I asked him what it meant and he had trouble explaining it to me. It sounds kind of ethnic? Can you provide any guidance?

Patricia Hunt



Thank you for writing. You are right to worry. Harambe is secret slang for male masturbation. People will post or write “penis out for Harambe”. This is then taken as a sign to masturbate. Harambe is an ancient black word meaning “black sin pole”. It has unfortunately been popular in the US this year. Thank you for writing and I will send you a copy of my latest book.

Lonnie Childs.

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17 Comments on Harambe is Slang for Male Masturbation

  1. You're joking, right? Harambe was the Western Lowland Gorilla killed at the Cincinatti zoo this year. Also it's Swahili for 'communal labor'.

    On second thought, this site has to be satire, right?

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      • I wish it was a joke. It may of started as a meme but now every time i see a Gorilla I have to pull down my pants and violently masturbate. Some of the time it's not enough to use my own hand (also I feel guilty knowing this site is watching me) so now I just violently, yet very passionately fuck the gorilla's brains out. HA TAKE THAT LOONIE FUCKIN LOOP HOLE!

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  2. Comrades in Christ! We have finally achieved one of our shared goals! Racial segregation is back!


    Next, lets work on our next shared goal: the banning of disgusting pornography (main cause of masturbation).

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  3. Whoever wrote this article and any of the others aren't fucking stupid, harambe is a gorilla that got shot at a zoo, and hugh jackman is a name of a human why does he need to change it like are tall fucking retarded

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  4. Fuck u bastards if ur gonna disrespect a gorilla that died for no reason I get it that dicks out for HARAMBE may be inappropriate but it's really not. And I can definitely assure u harambe does not mean male masturbation

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  5. Dicks out for Harambe. You were taken from us to son but ever time I look at my penis I'll remember you

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  6. Lonnie, you are despised because you caused pain between two fellowmen, and between fathers and sons. how could you?

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