Ask Lonnie

Harambe is Slang for Male Masturbation

Dear Lonnie,

My 13 Year-old son wants to buy a Harambe t shirt. I asked him what it meant and he had trouble explaining it to me. It sounds kind of ethnic? Can you provide any guidance?

Patricia Hunt

 

Pat,

Thank you for writing. You are right to worry. Harambe is secret slang for male masturbation. People will post or write “penis out for Harambe”. This is then taken as a sign to masturbate. Harambe is an ancient black word meaning “black sin pole”. It has unfortunately been popular in the US this year. Thank you for writing and I will send you a copy of my latest book.

Lonnie Childs.

raunisex_tshirtx1000fafafa_ca443f4786front-c235200225294-bgf8f8f8 tumblr_oamhxttft71sn2u2yo2_1280

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
18 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Daniel
Daniel
7 years ago

You’re joking, right? Harambe was the Western Lowland Gorilla killed at the Cincinatti zoo this year. Also it’s Swahili for ‘communal labor’.

On second thought, this site has to be satire, right?

M
M
7 years ago
Reply to  Daniel

I seriously hope it is satire…..

dicksoutforD-plant
dicksoutforD-plant
7 years ago
Reply to  M

I wish it was a joke. It may of started as a meme but now every time i see a Gorilla I have to pull down my pants and violently masturbate. Some of the time it’s not enough to use my own hand (also I feel guilty knowing this site is watching me) so now I just violently, yet very passionately fuck the gorilla’s brains out. HA TAKE THAT LOONIE FUCKIN LOOP HOLE!

Ms Millie Tant
Ms Millie Tant
7 years ago

Comrades in Christ! We have finally achieved one of our shared goals! Racial segregation is back!

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2016/sep/6/cal-state-university-la-offers-segregated-housing-/

Next, lets work on our next shared goal: the banning of disgusting pornography (main cause of masturbation).

Yum Yum Gimme Some
Yum Yum Gimme Some
7 years ago
Reply to  Ms Millie Tant

The “main cause of masturbation” is having genitalia. Porn just speeds up the process.

Harambe
Harambe
7 years ago

Sometimes I masturbate to two horses fucking. My mom watches

Dicks
Dicks
7 years ago

#dicksoutforharambe

Anal
Anal
7 years ago

This site is fucking retarded, jacking your Willy is Just a human thing. Crazy fucking people smh..

Masturbation is Normal
Reply to  Anal

It’s not just human, all animals do it. Chimpanzees have been seen masturbating to “porn” that they made by drawing boobs.

Child of Lonnie
Child of Lonnie
7 years ago

Would you jump off a bridge just because a chipanzee did it?

Daniel C
Daniel C
7 years ago

Whoever wrote this article and any of the others aren’t fucking stupid, harambe is a gorilla that got shot at a zoo, and hugh jackman is a name of a human why does he need to change it like are tall fucking retarded

Daniel C
Daniel C
7 years ago
Reply to  Daniel C

Are* they defiantly are stupid

Harambe believer
Harambe believer
7 years ago

Fuck u bastards if ur gonna disrespect a gorilla that died for no reason I get it that dicks out for HARAMBE may be inappropriate but it’s really not. And I can definitely assure u harambe does not mean male masturbation

LadyGayGay
7 years ago

Bless us can I get an amen up in here

Mr. Louis Cypher
7 years ago

Is this site a meme?

★HAIL LUCIFER ★
( ͡° ͡° ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡° ͡° ͡°)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
7 years ago

Dicks out for Harambe. You were taken from us to son but ever time I look at my penis I’ll remember you

A Bible Scholar/Logician
A Bible Scholar/Logician
7 years ago

Lonnie, you are despised because you caused pain between two fellowmen, and between fathers and sons. how could you?

Rittsu
Rittsu
2 years ago

Abelvaer