Lonnie Childs received great news over the weekend when the Graham County Juvenile Detention Center in Safford, Arizona delivered the results of a three-month study on the effectiveness of the Anti-Masturbation Strait Jacket®. According to […]
We at Stop Masturbation Now have been following the progress of Tina’s Law as it spreads across the United States. Brother Lonnie Childs, in His infinite wisdom, has made “penile monitoring” mandatory for all convicted […]
According to sources within Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts, the United States has ‘accidentally’ leaked a map that B.L.U.F.F. was using for internal strategy purposes. The map in question featured the Southwest of the […]
World Wrestling Entertainment fans can breathe a big sigh of relief as Lonnie Childs has convinced current champion, Brock Lesnar, to renew his contract with the company. Lesnar’s status with the “sports entertainment” group had […]
Midway through its fourth season, popular NBC sitcom, ‘Seinfeld’, featured an episode called “The Contest” where the main characters all decided to see which one could refrain from masturbation the longest. At first the network […]
Big Masturbation has reportedly taken control of the “Days Inn” chain of budget hotels. An Instagram user discovered what they referred to as the “mosr (sic) accurate ‘do not disturb’ sign ever. All that’s missing is the furious […]
In a rare move of anything resembling sanity, the military government of Thailand has spoken out against lesser-gendered members of the Thai populace making pornographic styled pictures of themselves. Specifically the men in charge of […]
Brother Lonnie has done it again! A pro-masturbation film festival in the den of sin, New York City, had scheduled to screen a video featuring the Big Masturbation sex android herself, Miley Cyrus. Thanks to […]
As Lonnie has proven many times over the years, some places are hot spots for masturbation and masturbation related sinful activities. Today we’re going to look at a “no go” zone in most major cities […]
Brother Lonnie’s Anti-Masturbation Research and Development team has recently completed work on one of their most ambitious projects to date; a contraption that serves as a solution to the female masturbation problem. The new product, […]
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