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Patriarch Jasper Centaur – Stop Masturbation Now
About Patriarch Jasper Centaur
Brother Jasper was born into a beatnik family that followed the unholy graces of the Bob Dylan, Moody Blues and Dolly Parton. After he realized how these people were the scum of the earth he quickly found Lonnie Childs, together they saw first-hand that masturbating causes many of the world’s problems. It 1st hit home when President Carter was light-headed after a violent masturbation session and fell down the steps of Air Force One. Since he has been an advocate for the stop masturbation movement, he has worked with Mother Teresa in teaching 3rd world people the horrors of self-rape. How he became a Patriarch is still unclear due to the Church reassigning Fathers that may or may not have “diddled” his flock. Brother Jasper has been missing for a few months to make sure his offspring will never touch themselves...