Big Masturbation Announces ‘This Ain’t Stop Masturbation Now’ Film

"We definitely plan to include an "all-sister orgy" in the Menstrual Hut" - Lorraine Cross

Big Masturbation announced, by way of one of their pornography shell companies, that they plan to film a ‘porn parody’ of Lonnie Childs and His popular Stop Masturbation Now movement. At press time it was not known who has been cast to play the role of Our Savior, Lonnie Childs. With the press release, Fantasy Candy Films also released what is believed to be only a partial cast list, including alleged “stars” of sin Asa Akira, Jayden James, Priya Rai and  Lisa Ann, previously known for her shameful “portrayal” of future President Sarah Palin.

Lisa Ann
Lisa Ann, shown here ruining Sarah Palin’s good name. It is unknown yet which lesser-gendered member of Brother Lonnie’s flock she will besmirch on film.

It is unknown which lesser gendered members of Lonnie’s Brotherhood will be shamed by the aforementioned women.  Fantasy Candy Films spokeswoman, Lorraine Cross, said that “(We’re) still plotting the various scenes but definitely plan to include an “all-sister orgy” in the Menstrual Hut along with several boy/girl scenes set at various key locations on Brother Lonnie’s campound. We made sure to cast several girls that Brother Lonnie would refer to as ‘non-normal’ so we can also have some sexy conversion scenes.”

Ms. Cross also added, “If this film does well, we have an entire series planned. ‘This Ain’t A Homogay Conversion’ Volume 1 is already in pre-production as we found a homosexual male actor who is the spitting image of Nikita Shalavin.”

An official statement from Brother Lonnie Childs has yet to be issued.

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About Cathy Redmond 104 Articles
Cathy Redmond is a graduate of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, earning degrees in English and Political Science. She likes long walks in the desert, strong Conservative leadership and America.

16 Comments on Big Masturbation Announces ‘This Ain’t Stop Masturbation Now’ Film

  1. I can't wait to see it! I sure hope that there is a circle jerk scene featuring Lonnie Childs, Carlos Danger and dexter battygardensiii! Can I please be an on-set fluffer so that there's no unnecessary self rape if any of the actors lose their erections between takes?

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  2. I want to make sure that I get credit for the post above! I don't think that I was logged in! I sure hope that someone at Fantasy Candy gives me a shot at being an on-set fluffer for this cinematic masterpiece!

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  3. Oh my Lonnie! This is terrible news. Terrible news, indeed! I will be picketing and protesting outside the gates of Big Masturbation, first thing tomorrow morning. If my name is so much as mentioned, I will cry for eternity. Damn smut peddlers!

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    • Picketing? That was sooo 2005 and you are stealing that from WBC. No one cares about picketers anymore. They are old news. People who picket live under a rock.

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  4. I love the photos you use on this site better fap fodder than pornhub!!!... Fap fap fap fap fap

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      • Also! What criteria are you using to deem this site holy? I deem porn sites to be holy lots of holes on them Lonnie.

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      • Lonnie I think you have been sent by the Devil to turn good Christians away from a life of normal sexual behaviour and into a life of suffering and sexual repression!!! Just the kind of trick the Devil would play!

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    • What a retort! You are clearly a sparkling intellect, please don't hold back your insightful additions to our discussion!

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      • Homo from the Latin for man and gay the British word for jollity so jolly man? Way to display your linguistic prowess Cathy a similar sparkling intellect. Also the word enthusiast implies it's something you have a choice in... You don't. Although please feel free to take up a subject like neuroscience and test that hypothesis.

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  5. Are you going to be in the movie Cathy? I'm playing with my sin stick right now just thinking about it. Although it's more of a sin hose what with all of the stuff spraying out of it!

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