Big Masturbation has reportedly taken control of the “Days Inn” chain of budget hotels. An Instagram user discovered what they referred to as the “mosr (sic) accurate ‘do not disturb’ sign ever. All that’s missing is the furious and deeply shameful masturbation.”
Traditionally, the “Do Not Disturb” sign has been used to alert the cleaning staff that the room was not ready for cleaning. Clearly, at hotels like Days Inn, it is now being used to protect the disturbing practices of the average American masturbator who has reduced themselves to having to use hotel WiFi to get their fix. This is not surprising as the proud normal non-masturbator would seek out a higher tier of accommodation to spend their evenings in. It will be no surprise if other chains, begin to adopt this practice of protecting masturbators to make sure that they don’t lose the key demographic that makes up their clientele, cheap masturbators. The door sign, pictured below, depicts a normal man sprawled out on the bed in front of a laptop. Clearly, they are implying that the people staying in their rooms should not be disturbed during their internet porn masturbation sessions.
Beware this door sign when you seek out a motel, hotel or hostel (but, really, would any non-masturbators reading this ever stay in such disgusting conditions as a hostel or motel?). Any decent and respectable place, such as any hotel where Lonnie would lay His head for the evening, would not have such an immoral and disgusting sign. However, this ‘masturbator alert’ door sign could potentially be useful. Any disciple of Lonnie that is interested in spreading His word would only need to visit the local slum district and look for this sign to know which rooms housed those in need of saving.