Lonnie Childs Prevents New Miley Cyrus Film From Being Screened

All copies have been destroyed. Your prayers have made a difference once again. Praise Lonnie.

Miley Cyrus. (image source: By Rob Sinclair [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons)

Brother Lonnie has done it again! A pro-masturbation film festival in the den of sin, New York City, had scheduled to screen a video featuring the Big Masturbation sex android herself, Miley Cyrus. Thanks to your prayers and Brother Lonnie’s tireless efforts, it has now been confirmed that the Big Masturbation funded and supported ‘bondage themed’ video will no longer be featured during the upcoming masturbation festival. Multiple sources are also claiming that all copies of the film have been seized and destroyed.

The organizers of the deplorable masturbation festival are claiming that Cyrus’s management is to blame for the film, “Tongue Tied”, not appearing at the festival. However, we all know that the work of Brother Lonnie and His devout following are the real force of change behind this development. Brother Palmer Stanford claims that he and several other Brothers have “the only copies of the Big Masturbation funded film” and have “burned them during a purification ceremony at an undisclosed campound”.

The 'Miley Cyrus bondage video' has been removed from the upcoming smut fest in NYC thanks to Brother Lonnie and your prayers! (image source: By karina3094 (Flickr: Miley Cyrus-Bangerz Tour) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
The ‘Miley Cyrus bondage video’ has been removed from the upcoming smut fest in NYC thanks to Brother Lonnie and your prayers! (image source: By karina3094 (Flickr: Miley Cyrus-Bangerz Tour) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Brother Stanford says, “The whole management excuse the festival has released to the public is just Big Masturbation trying to save face. Big Masturbation will not admit that Brother Lonnie is on to them and has ruined their big celebrity draw at an otherwise standard masturbation festival.” Brother Stanford adds that, “The prayers of the believers both praying for our success and continuing to pray at the disgusting self-rapist Cyrus are what should be focused on here. We are just doing Lonnie’s work as it is asked of us. Praise Lonnie!”.

The foul film, which allegedly featured an essentially nude Cyrus writhing around with black goo all over her body, serves as further evidence that Ms. Cyrus is nothing more than a tool of Big Masturbation. Only a person so deeply controlled by Big Masturbation would agree to defile themselves in such a way. The exploitation of a once pious and decent lesser gendered continues unfettered thanks to the sick minds of Big Masturbation.

“Brother Lonnie definitely won this battle and chose correctly,” adds Brother Stanford. “Of course, getting this sick, pro-masturbation, self-rape orgy in New York shut down entirely would be the ultimate goal. But, we do not question Brother Lonnie’s wisdom and methods. He decided to specifically target this film featuring the sex android Miley Cyrus and, as always, has succeeded in His goal. We praise the Holy Warrior Lonnie Childs for doing battle against evil and reaching a moment of triumph yet again. Praise Lonnie!”

About Cathy Redmond 104 Articles
Cathy Redmond is a graduate of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, earning degrees in English and Political Science. She likes long walks in the desert, strong Conservative leadership and America.

6 Comments on Lonnie Childs Prevents New Miley Cyrus Film From Being Screened

  1. I live 1 hour east of Manhattan. If I knew this was occurring, I would have showed up in person to shout bilblical phrases of exorcism and kiss Lonnie’s feet. Why don’t you people keep me in the loop?

Comments are closed.