Skittles-The Official Candy of Big Masturbation

Many of you know or have heard of Governor Mick Huckleberry of Arkansas. He has done a mountainous job of exposing the lies and under cover game plan of the far left with his actions when in office and on his current events program on the otherwise liberal fox news network.

Gov. Mick Huckleberry, a stoic and honorable man  who has exposed the sinister left
Gov. Mick Huckleberry, a stoic and honorable man who has exposed the sinister left

In a monumental discovery, although not too surprising, Gov. Huckleberry has uncovered the homosexual lobby’s attempts to shove the gay agenda down the throats of our precious youth in the form of their alliance with the Wiggle Corporation and their product, Skittle’s Fruity Chews. The rainbow color of the treat implants flamboyant imagery of gay flags and out-of-the-closet parades onto the brains of children. Just look at their “Taste the Rainbow” ad campaigns and the obvious homosexual imagery therein if you lack for proof.

Gov. Huckelberry is correct in calling for a Halloween ban on the “fruity” snack.

It turns out that further investigation of the Wiggle Company has turned up another conspiracy. Skittles has been caught bare naked and in bed as a clear partner of the forces of Big Masturbation!

I am not bull pooping you when I say this. I am not racist or homophobic as my detractors would wish you to believe. I have seen myself for who Skittles makers bow down and grab their ankles. Their aim is to market toward youth using pubescent humour and imagery of bizarre and unrighteous sex to influence children. The clear focus of their ad is to stir boys and girls’ sexual feelings in their loins. They know that these feelings are very trying on our youth. The only resort that these innocent children have is to give in to Satan’s Will and bring themselves to ejaculation climax with their hands.

What a filthy product. Certainly this “treat” must be expunged from your children’s minds.

WARNING: OFFENSIVE CONTENT!!!

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DISCLAIMER: Please remove women, children, and anyone other weak-minded inferior from the room before viewing. Be careful that your speakers are turned down, for the portion of this video detected by God’s gift of hearing is offensive and sinful.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyYO6l1oz-g]

The aim of Wiggle Corp and Big Masturbation is this: every time a child pops a Skittles Brand Fruit Treat into his or her mouth, thoughts of homogayness and/or masturbatory sexual allure will fill their still developing minds. The child will grow up to associate sugary goodness tastes within their mouths with devious self rape and gratutious homosex.

This is what Satan wants. Parents, you must beware! Don’t let evil win.

Cassidy Pen

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About Cassidy Pen 80 Articles

Cornelius Bartholomew “Cassidy” Pen, a retired US Marine, Actor, and Security Head-Receiver at B.L.U.F.F. Female Intake, now writes for a number of nationally respected news agencies. A winner of the prestigious Bill O’Reily “No-Spin” Award, Cassidy also runs a daytime street ministry to save souls from the sin of self rape. An avid hunter and manufacturer of distilled spirits, Cassidy would probably be found deep in the woods during his free time.

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