SMN Self Rape Alert: Mad Max Fury Road

SMN Safford, AZ-As kids flock to the latest Hollywood Blockbuster, Mad Max-Fury Road, a disturbing parental alert has been issued by the Faith Advisory Parental Media Information and Liturgical Foundation (FAPMILF), the anti-masturbation in media arm of Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.).

Various hidden pro masturbation messages have been uncovered in the film which has earned a FAPMILF color code rating of red, or nearly %100 danger of masturbation sin to minors and the weak-minded. This SMN Self Rape alert indicates an immediate concern for parents with the anti-masturbation health of their offspring in mind.

The movie opens in a futuristic post nuclear desert dystopia where a huge castle of masturbation torture chambers is run by a central figure wearing a self-rape bondage costume. Slaves are held upside down, tortured, and drained of semen at the will of the main antagonist. Peasants are controlled and encouraged to rub their genitalia to gain access to water. Frenzied scenes of sweaty masturbation simulation occur where various characters display subliminal self rape facial gestures. See the movie poster, above.

The film’s main female character, Furiosa, played by Charlezi Theron, is a personification of butch female masturbation. The name “Furiosa” is Dutch for “fury of uni (one) sin” or furious self rape. The Dutch come from the homosexualized nation of Holland, where self rape and the dangerous narcotic drug marijuana is openly celebrated in the international capital of sin, Amsterdam.

The main plot centers around Mad Max assisting Furiosa as she attempts to smuggle five sultry objects of self sexualization away from the castle and their pursuit by the ruling class, who wishes to keep them enslaved in the mastur-chambers as props for unified circle jerks and lesbian clam rubs.

Mad Max himself is donned in bondage masturbation garb throughout much of the film. His chained mastur-mate (self rape partner) is a balded psychotic with most frightening eyes. Together, with Furiosa and her band of flick-beans, they attempt escape to a mythical self rape oasis rumored to be somewhere far in the desert.

Their vehicle is an rotating oblong shaped device with various ball shaped trailers that emit a white fluid by twisting a hand crank.

All of this is set against a backdrop of heavy metal music, a known draw for pubescents who seek penis self pleasure.

Parents are warned to forbid their children from seeing Mad Max-Fury Road. Women, children, and other weak-minded individuals are to be sheltered from Mad Max-Fury Road.

Remember that it is not of purpose of the FAPMILF arm of B.L.U.F.F. to cast blame or judgement on any one person, group, or misguided faith that purports to condone self rape as a healthy lifestyle choice. It is only through a presentation of FaithFacts and the proven science thereof that warns of the absolute and final destination of that of a masturbation sinner without the gift of repentance and a spiritual (re)awakening provided by Brother Lonnie and the Stop Masturbation Now! Ministries.

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Cassidy Pen
About Cassidy Pen 80 Articles
Cornelius Bartholomew “Cassidy” Pen, a retired US Marine, Actor, and Security Head-Receiver at B.L.U.F.F. Female Intake, now writes for a number of nationally respected news agencies. A winner of the prestigious Bill O'Reily "No-Spin" Award, Cassidy also runs a daytime street ministry to save souls from the sin of self rape. An avid hunter and manufacturer of distilled spirits, Cassidy would probably be found deep in the woods during his free time.
Contact: Website

11 Comments on SMN Self Rape Alert: Mad Max Fury Road

  1. One look at that vile movie poster is enough to convince me to steer clear of this film. The individual depicted in this poster is one of those twisted unisex types so you can't tell if it's a meat-beater or a bean-flicker, either way it appears to be an underaged minor. When is Hollywood going to stop producing these films that use explicit imagery to lure the innocent & ignorant into a life of shame and deviancy? Bring back films like The Wizard of Oz, Citizen Kane, The Sound of Music, or It's a Wonderful Life. How about a re-make of My Fair Lady? These are the movies children should be watching.

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  2. I heard ths movie was filmed in Australia because Australia is already post-apocalyptic.

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  3. I agree this movie should be avoided at all costs! I personally was invited to go see Mad Max: Fury Road and there were lots of sexual themes throughout the movie. Not nearly as many as the bible however. When Mary Magdalene washes Jesus's feet, I got really aroused. The thought of her doing that made me want to sin! How about the rampant nudity in the Garden of Eden? What kind of sick pervert would make a garden to watch naked people walk in all day? They werent even aware they were naked (which is the sickest part) until the magic apple alerted the heroine/sidekick in the story, who then escapes with the hero. There are sexual themes everywhere I turn these days, and now even the bible has turned into a pornography! We need to band together brothers and stop this! I agree we need different movies for our children than those currently being made, however NIGEL COVINGTON i recommend removing Wizard of Oz off of your list as there is a person shown being hanged in one of the scenes and children shouldnt see this! Maybe do some reasearch before recommending childrens movies! or leave it to a specialist! And CASSIDY PEN i also must disagree with Chuck Norris movies. I heard once that the Virgin Isles are no longer Virgin now that Chuck Norris has visited them. They are now simply the Isles! How horrible. But still not as horrible as the review for this movie! I mean seriously did the author even go see it? or just watch a commercial? The plot, characters, and scenes he talks about are not even close to what was in the movie, and mostly seems made up. The cocklike vehicle mentioned....a water or gas tanker truck similar to you see deliver gas to a gas station. I think the author spent the first few seconds of the movie jerking off and fell asleep thru the rest which is why this is so innacurate. So I repeat, I agree the movie should be avoided....because it sounds like what the author dreamed during his post self rape nap.....But the movie Mad Max: Fury road is a great movie and I recommend. By the way im going to buy one of your Anti-Masturbation crosses for myself. It will come in quite useful for the BDSM stuff i have planned this weekend. Fellatio is amazing when your hands are tied up!

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    • Dear FATMILF, Look porker what kind of a person would post such a profane comment on this holy site where children across America, mostly those with God-fearing decent white folks for parents and those who attend private Christian schools come to this site to be educated about the dangers of masturbation and to catch up on Lonnie's Faith Facts. That's like posting hard core smut and pornography to the boys & girl's bathroom in their Head Start program. What kind of a Godless whore are you? Now lets talk about the Wizard of Oz skank. Why would I care if my child watches a film where someone gets hanged? As long as the individual is properly hung for the greater cause of justice I want my child to see that. Now more than ever children need to comprehend that not only crime doesn't pay nor does bad deeds, dirty thoughts and selfishly pleasuring yourself. Its people like you FATMILF that make me sick. BURN IN HELL WITCH!!!

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  4. All I can say is, y'all are some weirdos... Seriously... Masturbation is completely natural and has.many health benefits. I seriously found myself chuckling as I read half your articles. "Civilizations that have gone extict from masturbation"??????? Seriously????? Anyways I just want to end in this. Sure its OK to believe that masturbation is wrong. Its just like how I do not believe in god and I think homosexuality is fine. But making up shit like that is not OK.

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  5. You are obviously in need of help as a degenerate masturbator. To admit to childish giggling as if this ministry is some kind of joke is an obvious sign of serious detachment from both reality and your savior. May I be so bold as to suggest that a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is your one only true means toward redemption? You should really take my advice to heart. Your eternal soul depends on your reaction.

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  6. this post arouses my sinstick so much that i creme pied all over the screen. and i even printed it off and stuck it on my wall with my devil juices

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  7. I honestly cannot tell if the person who made this post is on some serious acid or not. You clearly haven't even seen Mad Max: Fury Road, because if you had then you would be aware of these very obvious facts in the movie:

    1) That "self-rape oasis" that the young girls (who have been raped and dehumanised by the leaders of Citadel, not by themselves) are fleeing to is a place that is safe for them to live and to deliver the child that one of them is carrying without him being turned into soldier.

    2) "Slaves are held upside down, tortured, and drained of semen" . ??? I assume you were talking about the "blood bags", as they are the only people who are hung unside down in the entire film. You somehow confused "forcefully supplying blood to a sick person" with "tortured and drained of semen" (?) and I honestly have no idea how you managed to do that.

    There are a great many examples I could continue on with, but I think that everyone who has watched Mad Max: Fury Road would agree that the film has no elements of masurbation in it's whole 2-hour run time, so this article is a piece of crap.

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  8. I actually don't know if this is all satirical, or if you are all serious about this. I severely hope that it is the former.

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  9. IT'S TIME TO STOP. JUST STOP OKAY. WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS. WHO ARE YOUR PARENTS. I'M GONNA CALL CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES. THIS IS JUST CANCER. SO MUCH CANCER. I CAN FEEL THE TUMORS COMING UP ON MY BACK. IT'S TIME TO STOP

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