A story has been circulating the Worldwide Web about an extreme masturbator, Zheng Gang, died committing the sin of masturbation while on the premises of a sperm bank. It seemed like the proper time to expose the horror know as the “sperm bank”. Your average “sperm bank” is a Obama administration funded hall of horrors filled to the brim with private booths for masturbators to do their business. Each private room comes loaded with pornographic films and publications. The deviant masturbator also receives various oils and lubricants to help them commit their act of sin. The worst part? The masturbator is then cut a check for their “work”. The entire operation is an affront on family values.
Obviously, the average masturbator has no standards; as evidenced by their willingness to stroke their sin stick just about anywhere. However, thanks to the justifiable death ofZheng Gang, we at Stop Masturbation Now have learned about the true insidious nature of the Chinese sperm bank. While the American sperm bank, while deplorable, throws the sperm away at the end of each work day. Big Masturbation uses these sperm banks as a front to launder money from their other shady activities. China takes the sperm bank to new and frightening levels.
A Chinese firm called Sanwe has developed an automated machine to “simulate vaginal environment” to aid in the quick and efficient collection of sperm. Why would the Chinese be so concerned with having an efficient method of sperm collection you may ask? Obviously, they are preparing for a catastrophic loss of life to their population and either require a reserve of male semen or plan to build a clone army. As China has quickly become one of the most formidable enemies of America’s Manifest Destiny across the rest of the world, this is a troubling thing to consider.
It goes without saying the concept of the sperm bank is a tool of Satan to reward sinners for their acts of sin. The concept of foreigners using the Devil’s tools to challenge American supremacy is even more terrifying. Even though weaker deviants, like Zheng Gang are purged through the sperm collection process, those kinds of incidents are far too rare. We must get involved and stop sperm banks now! Both here on the homeland and abroad before it is too late.