Harambe is Slang for Male Masturbation

September 12, 2016 17

Dear Lonnie, My 13 Year-old son wants to buy a Harambe t shirt. I asked him what it meant and he had trouble explaining it to me. It sounds kind of ethnic? Can you provide […]

Is Your Daughter Paying for a Facial?

October 13, 2015 19

(StopMasturbationNOW)—This week we have a question from a loyal follower and father.   “Hi, my daughter just went away to college and I see that she has a weekly cash withdrawal out of her account […]

Should Sexy Education be Taught in Schools?

October 11, 2015 4

Loyal follower and staunch non-masturbator, Paul Stanley, asks: “Lonnie, should sex education be taught in public schools?” Thank you for the question, Paul. Obviously the answer is “no”. For the past few decades, publicly schooled […]

Masturbation Warning: Dear Abby

July 29, 2015 19

Jeanne Phillips, who writes the “Dear Abby” column, has come out as a self-rapist and proponent of the Satanic lifestyle as pushed on society by agents of Big Masturbation. In her latest column, Ms. Phillips […]

Do Masturbators go to Heaven?

March 13, 2015 31

(StopMasturbationNOW)—Dear Lonnie, I was wondering if masturbators were allowed into heaven? I’m not talking about people who have masturbated in the past but repented and are saved, I am asking about the ones who think […]