The Anti-Masturbation Go-Board ™

June 28, 2015 22

SMNNN- (B.L.U.F.F PRODUCT RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT) Hello Faithfriends, Chosen Normals and Pledged Self-Chastes, and our allies! Today we are pleased to present the answer to all your portable anti-masturbation needs, the newly unveiled Anti-Masturbation Go-Board […]

Are All Internet Trolls Masturbators?

May 29, 2015 5

B.L.U.F.F CAMPOUND (SAFFORD, AZ) Workers at the B.L.U.F.F Campound and Uranium Mines in Safford, Arizona announced today that they have proven that all internet trolls are horrible, Godless, masturbating, heathens. In an exhausting study of […]

Top Five Most Masturbatory Vegetables

March 23, 2015 8

B.L.U.F.F (SMNNN) The brave and dedicated monks and faithscientists at B.L.U.F.F. Campound have been working hundreds of man-hours to classify even the most mundane objects as potential masturbation aids, which naturally, can and will cause […]


March 20, 2015 6

ISLAND MEXICO (SMNNN) Often, we here at Stop Masturbation Now Ministries are asked just how successful are we at converting heathen, self-rapist, foreigners into useful, upstanding, God-fearing, productive members of society. Today, we lambast the […]

Arizona Pastor Jailed for Feeding Homeless

February 13, 2015 5

PHOENIX, ARIZ. — In a fiery press conference, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio angrily defended the arrest of Pastor Lonnie Childs at his mobile soup kitchen outside a Phoenix homeless shelter. On Saturday evening, the […]

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