Masturbation Mystery Unraveled

March 26, 2020 2

Ever wonder what the name of the sportswear company, ADIDAS, stood for? Wonder no more! STOP Masturbation NOW codebreakers have deciphered the seemingly nonsensical word and it appears that the slippery tentacles of Big Masturbation […]

CORONA-19 HOAX

March 19, 2020 15

CORONA-19 is a nefarious global plot by Big Masturbation to quarantine everyone indoors with nothing else to do all day but play with their sin zones! TRUMP made America Great Again® but the socialist DEMONcrats […]

David Bowie Dead Of Cancer

January 11, 2016 50

ENGLAND, PROBABLY, MAYBE SCOTLAND (SMNNN) Horrible androgen Martian-spider/human hybrid Sex-goblin rockpop icon, and profuse masturbator David Bowie succumbed to various masturbation related cancers today, he was 69 years old. Bowie, long an androgynous mess of […]

Won’t You Please Help?

September 2, 2015 18

For immediate release: “My brothers and sisters…I, Lonald “Lonnie” Childs, having fought the scourge of masturbation for decades now must come to you in our most desperate hour.  The 30% tithe of their gross income […]

1 2 3