Big Masturbation

Masturbation Warning: Dear Abby

Masturbation Warning: Dear Abby

Jeanne Phillips, who writes the “Dear Abby” column, has come out as a self-rapist and proponent of the Satanic lifestyle as pushed on society by agents of Big Masturbation. In her latest column, Ms. Phillips comforted a despondent, guilt riddled masturbator, Her advice included the statement, “…masturbation is normal. It […]

SMN Self Rape Alert: Mad Max Fury Road

SMN Self Rape Alert: Mad Max Fury Road

SMN Safford, AZ-As kids flock to the latest Hollywood Blockbuster, Mad Max-Fury Road, a disturbing parental alert has been issued by the Faith Advisory Parental Media Information and Liturgical Foundation (FAPMILF), the anti-masturbation in media arm of Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.). Various hidden pro masturbation messages have […]

by May 20, 2015 11 comments Big Masturbation, Press Release
Photo Proof Liberals are Trying to Sexualize your Kids

Photo Proof Liberals are Trying to Sexualize your Kids

(StopMasturbationNOW)—It is no secret that liberals hate morals, family values and children. However liberals love homosexuality, perversions, and masturbation, especially when it comes to kids. Here is photo evidence of the liberals “love” for your children. Parents: Talk to your kids about self rape before its too late.

by May 19, 2015 6 comments Big Masturbation
Big Masturbation Beer Removed From Shelves In Chicago

Big Masturbation Beer Removed From Shelves In Chicago

Anti-masturbation achieved a small victory recently when a pro-masturbation beer funded by Big Masturbation was removed from the shelves of a Chicago liquor store. The beer in question, “Happy Ending”, being marketed by SweetWater Brewing Company, features a label of man’s contorted face in the middle of an orgasm etched […]

by April 10, 2015 4 comments Big Masturbation
screenshot via YouTube/NiseethTV

A World Gone Mad: Indian Women Advocate Masturbation

A horrifying glimpse into the unrestrained masturbation practices of the average lesser gendered member of Indian society was unceremoniously leaked onto the internet a few days ago. The video, an abomination even with its short 2 minute and 39 second run time, features several young, Indian lesser gendereds admitting to […]

by March 21, 2015 3 comments Big Masturbation, World
Hotel Chain Promotes Masturbation

Hotel Chain Promotes Masturbation

Big Masturbation has reportedly taken control of the “Days Inn” chain of budget hotels. An Instagram user discovered what they referred to as the “mosr (sic) accurate ‘do not disturb’ sign ever. All that’s missing is the furious and deeply shameful masturbation.” Traditionally, the “Do Not Disturb” sign has been used to alert […]

by March 20, 2015 2 comments Big Masturbation
New “Wank Band” Looking for “Beater Testers”

New “Wank Band” Looking for “Beater Testers”

WARNING: Explicit Content. Please remove women, children, and other weak-minded individuals from the room. Make sure your computer or Bing device speakers are turned down. [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzjeAaLbM5k] More HERE

by February 27, 2015 25 comments Big Masturbation
Miley Cyrus. (image source: By Rob Sinclair [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons)

Lonnie Childs Prevents New Miley Cyrus Film From Being Screened

Brother Lonnie has done it again! A pro-masturbation film festival in the den of sin, New York City, had scheduled to screen a video featuring the Big Masturbation sex android herself, Miley Cyrus. Thanks to your prayers and Brother Lonnie’s tireless efforts, it has now been confirmed that the Big […]

by February 13, 2015 6 comments Big Masturbation, Celebrity, Lonnie Childs
Spiders are evil.

Is the “Halo” gaming franchise promoting Self-Rape?

Here is what the Liberal lies claim about this “game” on Wikipedia(a known Communist site): “In the distant past, a powerful race called the Forerunners fought an alien parasite known as the Flood. The Flood, which spread through infestation of sentient life, overran much of the Milky Way Galaxy. One […]

by January 20, 2015 24 comments Big Masturbation
In-Depth Interview with Big Masturbation

In-Depth Interview with Big Masturbation

SECRET LOCATION- SOMEWHERE (SMNNN) We at Stop Masturbation Now are pleased to present this interview with an actual high-ranking official of Big Masturbation. Our own Professor Doctor Wizard Cardinal Thomas Kelly interviewed this “person” about the goals of the B.M movement. Thomas Kelly: Hello, welcome. Would you care to explain […]

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