Big Masturbation

The Currency of Big Masturbation

STOP Masturbation NOW Under Attack By Paid Shills!

Matthew 6:24 – “…You cannot serve both God and money.”   As the STOP Masturbation NOW self-celibacy movement becomes more successful and influential, it appears that the pushback from our detractors has increased as well.  It’s obvious that the masturbation lobby fear us and monitor our online activities.  Like a […]

by December 9, 2014 14 comments Big Masturbation
Masturbator saved by Bruce Danus.

Bruce Danus Saves The Life of a Masturbator

It was a cold, rainy night in Portland, OR; the home of the most masturbators in America, because it is the home of the most hipsters in America. I was waiting for a bus to take so I could preach the good words of Lonnie to a captive audience, when […]

by November 4, 2014 16 comments Big Masturbation
In Obama’s America: Pornographic Jack’Off Lanterns

In Obama’s America: Pornographic Jack’Off Lanterns

(StopMasturbationNOW)— What happened to moral America? The America filled with family values, the America of fraternities, sports, the 4th of July, and Christmas? Well… it’s been replaced with filth. And this is not regular dirty Mexican filth, this is smut. Pure pornography. Last week we showed you haw masturbators were […]

Masturbators Replace Halloween Costumes with Dinguses

Masturbators Replace Halloween Costumes with Dinguses

(StopMasturbationNOW)—Once a proud Christian holiday, Halloween was filled with candy, kids costumes, and pumpkins However this year masturbators have decided to ruin Halloween for everyone by turning innocent costumes into dinguses. The Unicorn Vibrator “Have a good time at the costume party then go home and self-rape” Is what this […]

by October 24, 2014 47 comments Big Masturbation, Morals
Skittles-The Official Candy of Big Masturbation

Skittles-The Official Candy of Big Masturbation

Many of you know or have heard of Governor Mick Huckleberry of Arkansas. He has done a mountainous job of exposing the lies and under cover game plan of the far left with his actions when in office and on his current events program on the otherwise liberal fox news […]

by October 13, 2014 4 comments Big Masturbation
John Harvey Kellogg, respected anti-masturbationist, sane  and regulated Normal.

Pioneers In Anti-Masturbation, Episode One

Preventing masturbation is a cause that has been championed throughout history by many great normals. Among the outstanding members of this fraternity of morality and decency, one man stuck out like a sore-thumb, and eventually, rose to become the cream of the crop of medical anti-masturbation. I speak of none […]

The Sperm Bank: Satan’s Clone Factory

The Sperm Bank: Satan’s Clone Factory

A story has been circulating the Worldwide Web about an extreme masturbator, Zheng Gang, died committing the sin of masturbation while on the premises of a sperm bank. It seemed like the proper time to expose the horror know as the “sperm bank”. Your average “sperm bank” is a Obama […]

9/11 Was an Inside Handjob

9/11 Was an Inside Handjob

  Today, we mark the 13th anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks which brought this nation to its knees (homogays were already there, of course). Like the Kennedy Assassination, we all remember where we were the moment we heard the news. Most of us were in the middle of […]

Big Masturbation Announces ‘This Ain’t Stop Masturbation Now’ Film

Big Masturbation Announces ‘This Ain’t Stop Masturbation Now’ Film

Big Masturbation announced, by way of one of their pornography shell companies, that they plan to film a ‘porn parody’ of Lonnie Childs and His popular Stop Masturbation Now movement. At press time it was not known who has been cast to play the role of Our Savior, Lonnie Childs. […]

Fox News Expert Says That “Masturbation Induced HomoGay™ Impulses” Played Role in Isla Vista Massacre

Fox News Expert Says That “Masturbation Induced HomoGay™ Impulses” Played Role in Isla Vista Massacre

  Dr. Robi Ludwig, who never treated the suspect, was on “Justice with Judge Jeanine” speculating about the tragedy By TheRev Leroy Jenkins Elliot Rodger, the suspect in Friday night’s Isla Vista massacre, which left seven people dead, including Rodger, and 13 wounded, left behind a supply of evidence in the […]

by June 2, 2014 1 comment Big Masturbation, Death
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