Masturbators Replace Halloween Costumes with Dinguses

October 24, 2014 47

(StopMasturbationNOW)—Once a proud Christian holiday, Halloween was filled with candy, kids costumes, and pumpkins However this year masturbators have decided to ruin Halloween for everyone by turning innocent costumes into dinguses. The Unicorn Vibrator “Have […]

Pioneers In Anti-Masturbation, Episode One

September 19, 2014 9

Preventing masturbation is a cause that has been championed throughout history by many great normals. Among the outstanding members of this fraternity of morality and decency, one man stuck out like a sore-thumb, and eventually, […]

The Sperm Bank: Satan’s Clone Factory

September 15, 2014 13

A story has been circulating the Worldwide Web about an extreme masturbator, Zheng Gang, died committing the sin of masturbation while on the premises of a sperm bank. It seemed like the proper time to […]

9/11 Was an Inside Handjob

September 11, 2014 17

  Today, we mark the 13th anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks which brought this nation to its knees (homogays were already there, of course). Like the Kennedy Assassination, we all remember where we […]

Masturbation Mystery Unraveled

May 15, 2014 2

Ever wonder what the name of the sportswear company, ADIDAS, stood for? Wonder no more! Stop Masturbation Now code breakers have deciphered the seemingly nonsensical word and it appears that the slippery tentacles of Big […]

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