Masturbators Replace Halloween Costumes with Dinguses

October 24, 2014 47

(StopMasturbationNOW)—Once a proud Christian holiday, Halloween was filled with candy, kids costumes, and pumpkins However this year masturbators have decided to ruin Halloween for everyone by turning innocent costumes into dinguses.

The Unicorn Vibrator

“Have a good time at the costume party then go home and self-rape” Is what this product screams at its owner. “Put me in your sin cave”


The Wizard Nose

Marketed at the “realistic look and feel” crowd. The wizard nose is nothing but a penis, testicles and gray hair.


The […]

Skittles-The Official Candy of Big Masturbation

October 13, 2014 4

Many of you know or have heard of Governor Mick Huckleberry of Arkansas. He has done a mountainous job of exposing the lies and under cover game plan of the far left with his actions when in office and on his current events program on the otherwise liberal fox news network.

Gov. Mick Huckleberry, a stoic and honorable man who has exposed the sinister left

In a monumental discovery, although not too surprising, Gov. Huckleberry has uncovered the homosexual lobby’s attempts to […]

Pioneers In Anti-Masturbation, Episode One

September 19, 2014 9

Preventing masturbation is a cause that has been championed throughout history by many great normals. Among the outstanding members of this fraternity of morality and decency, one man stuck out like a sore-thumb, and eventually, rose to become the cream of the crop of medical anti-masturbation. I speak of none other than; Dr John Harvey Kellogg.

Though a reputed vegetarianist (And therefore, most likely, a dendrophiliac.) and a member of a liberal cult of Sevens Days Adamantistes, he was also a […]

The Sperm Bank: Satan’s Clone Factory

September 15, 2014 13

A story has been circulating the Worldwide Web about an extreme masturbator, Zheng Gang, died committing the sin of masturbation while on the premises of a sperm bank. It seemed like the proper time to expose the horror know as the “sperm bank”. Your average “sperm bank” is a Obama administration funded hall of horrors filled to the brim with private booths for masturbators to do their business. Each private room comes loaded with pornographic films and publications. The deviant masturbator also […]

9/11 Was an Inside Handjob

September 11, 2014 17


Today, we mark the 13th anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks which brought this nation to its knees (homogays were already there, of course). Like the Kennedy Assassination, we all remember where we were the moment we heard the news. Most of us were in the middle of our morning masturbation session, caught by the terrorists with our pants down just like they hoped.

The majority of Americans smugly assume to have long since settled the details of these events. […]

Big Masturbation Announces ‘This Ain’t Stop Masturbation Now’ Film

August 24, 2014 16

Big Masturbation announced, by way of one of their pornography shell companies, that they plan to film a ‘porn parody’ of Lonnie Childs and His popular Stop Masturbation Now movement. At press time it was not known who has been cast to play the role of Our Savior, Lonnie Childs. With the press release, Fantasy Candy Films also released what is believed to be only a partial cast list, including alleged “stars” of sin Asa Akira, Jayden James, Priya Rai […]

Fox News Expert Says That “Masturbation Induced HomoGay™ Impulses” Played Role in Isla Vista Massacre

June 2, 2014 1


Dr. Robi Ludwig, who never treated the suspect, was on “Justice with Judge Jeanine” speculating about the tragedy

By TheRev Leroy Jenkins

Elliot Rodger, the suspect in Friday night’s Isla Vista massacre, which left seven people dead, including Rodger, and 13 wounded, left behind a supply of evidence in the form of a 141-page manifesto and many disturbing YouTube videos.

These written and video testimonies will most likely be combed by law enforcement officials while investigating this act of violence, but they are also […]

Masturbation Mystery Unraveled

May 15, 2014 2

Ever wonder what the name of the sportswear company, ADIDAS, stood for? Wonder no more! Stop Masturbation Now code breakers have deciphered the seemingly nonsensical word and it appears that the slippery tentacles of Big Masturbation have found yet another way to subliminally influence society into thinking that masturbation is “hip” and “cool”!

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