Celebrity

UPDATE – Tracy Morgan More Responsive After Masturbation Wreck

UPDATE – Tracy Morgan More Responsive After Masturbation Wreck

WEST PALM BEACH, FLA (SMNNN) — Actor Tracy Morgan remains in critical condition but is showing signs of improvement less than 24 hours after the party bus he was riding in was wrecked. Mr. Morgan was able to respond to several questions from investigators today which doctors are saying is […]

by June 9, 2014 3 comments Celebrity, Trending
TORNADOES Strike Masturbation Belt

TORNADOES Strike Masturbation Belt

    (StopMasturbationNow) — A self-rape induced outbreak of EF5 tornadoes swept across the Masturbation Belt this Sunday, June 8, 2014. The damage left by this rash of twisters has been described by local authorities as catastrophic, crippling, savage, and atheist. Over  275 lives were lost and over 3.1 million people […]

by June 9, 2014 3 comments Celebrity
Actor Tracy Morgan Critically Injured In Masturbation Related Accident

Actor Tracy Morgan Critically Injured In Masturbation Related Accident

WEST PALM BEACH, FLA (SMNNN) — A party bus driver has been formally charged in relation to an accident that has left popular actor Tracy Morgan in critical condition. Morgan, known for his popular comedy program “Key and Peele” was riding in a party bus driven by a Southeast Party […]

by June 8, 2014 7 comments Celebrity, Trending
Snow Mexican Bieber Blasted For Non-Normal Denouncement, Promoting Abstinence From Masturbation.

Snow Mexican Bieber Blasted For Non-Normal Denouncement, Promoting Abstinence From Masturbation.

WEST PALM BEACH, FLA (SMMNN) – Snow Mexican entertainer Justin Bieber has become Big Masturbation’s newest whipping boy after a video of him decrying non-normals and promoting abstinence from masturbation was leaked to the press earlier this week. In typical fashion, the media responded by blasting Bieber mercilessly calling his words […]

by June 8, 2014 3 comments Celebrity
UPDATE – Kasem’s Masturbation Induced Illness Worsens; Condition Critical.

UPDATE – Kasem’s Masturbation Induced Illness Worsens; Condition Critical.

WEST PALM BEACH, FLA — (SMNNN) Just 48 hours after his wife was charged in a bizarre public masturbation incident that sent him to the hospital, it has been leaked that Casey Kasem’s condition has worsened and is now critical in nature. In a story we broke on this netsite […]

by June 7, 2014 5 comments Celebrity
Dave Brockie, AKA Oderus Urungus

GWAR Frontman Dave Brockie Self Raped Himself to Death, a Virginia Medical Official Confirms.

The Virginia medical examiner’s office says Dave Brockie, the frontman for the heavy metal band GWAR, died of excessive chronic masturbation. Brockie — who went by the stage name Oderus Urungus — was found dead in his Richmond home on March 23. He was 50. Noah Williamson, administrator at the […]

by June 7, 2014 2 comments Celebrity, Death
BREAKING NEWS: Casey Kasem Hospitalized After Wife’s Bizarre Public Masturbation Incident

BREAKING NEWS: Casey Kasem Hospitalized After Wife’s Bizarre Public Masturbation Incident

Broadcasting icon Casey Kasem has been taken by ambulance to a local hospital following an incident between his wife and daughter. In the latest incident during a long family battle, Kasem’s wife Jean used a pound of hamburger meat as a masturbatory aid in front of his daughter from his […]

by June 3, 2014 1 comment Celebrity, Trending
Pope Declares “Zero Tolerance” for Masturbaters

Pope Declares “Zero Tolerance” for Masturbaters

POPE TO MEET MASTURBATION VICTIMS AT VATICAN By: TheRev Leroy Jenkins ABOARD THE PAPAL PLANE (AP) — Pope Francis announced Monday he would meet soon with a group of masturbation victims at the Vatican and declared “zero tolerance” for any member of the clergy who would self -rape. Francis also […]

by June 2, 2014 1 comment Celebrity
SMN Exclusive Interview

SMN Exclusive Interview

Fred Rogers on his son Elliot   Masturbation, Apple, & Feminism drove him over the edge By TheRev Leroy Jenkins In an exclusive interview with SMN and BLUFF Press, LLC. The father of Elliot Rogers, Fred Rogers, shares his heartbreaking insight into what drove his son to go on a […]

Proof that people who don’t masturbate can accomplish anything!  Praise!

Proof that people who don’t masturbate can accomplish anything! Praise!

by May 27, 2014 4 comments Celebrity, Morals, Science
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