SMN Self-Rape Alert: ‘Black Mass’

September 29, 2015 3

SMN Safford, AZ-A new waste of film depicting violence and masturbation mob activity has been released by Hollywood. “Black Mass,” starring Johnny Deep is the latest screed garnering a code red rating for excessive self-rape […]

Won’t You Please Help?

September 2, 2015 18

For immediate release: “My brothers and sisters…I, Lonald “Lonnie” Childs, having fought the scourge of masturbation for decades now must come to you in our most desperate hour.  The 30% tithe of their gross income […]

Chevy Chase Arrested for Aggravated Felching

July 14, 2015 5

BEDFORD NY-Veteran actor/comedian Chevy Chase, 71, has been arrested and charged with aggravated felching by Bedford Police after allegedly getting down on his knees and forcing an oral purge of his juices from an unidentified […]

Sign our Petition to Deport Ariana Grande

July 13, 2015 10

(StopMasturbationNOW)—Americas motto has been to give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. Nowhere did we ever ask masturbators to come here. Actually its exactly the opposite. Last week Mexican […]

Did Jimmy Fallon Injure His Hand Masturbating?

June 26, 2015 2

(StopMasturbationNOW)— Jimmy Fallon won’t be taping “The Tonight Show” on Friday due to a hand injury, an NBC spokesman told TheWrap. Although the network will be airing a repeat while Fallon recovers, the spokesman assured […]

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