Fappy Sentenced To Eight Years Imprisonment

December 2, 2015 9

SAFFORD AZ (SMNNN) Paul Horner, the man inside the Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin furry mascot suit has been sentenced to eight years in federal prison following his arrest for accosting sea-animals at Sea World aquarium. […]

Save Not Shame! It’s what Lonnie Would Do.

November 17, 2015 1

EDITORIAL (SMNNN) During these tumultuous times, vicious rumors, and terrible evil seem to have befallen us all, which, is no doubt, the fault of masturbators ruining the Earth as the make themselves pawns to the […]

Saint-Shaming is NOT Okay

October 28, 2015 6

Once upon a time, our white-male-cis-hetero Forefathers were instructed by God to construct a vessel of righteousness and flee the wicked and perverse generation of the Church of England. Anglicans had legalized marijuana and masturbation, […]

Are All Internet Trolls Masturbators?

May 29, 2015 6

B.L.U.F.F CAMPOUND (SAFFORD, AZ) Workers at the B.L.U.F.F Campound and Uranium Mines in Safford, Arizona announced today that they have proven that all internet trolls are horrible, Godless, masturbating, heathens. In an exhausting study of […]

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