Insanity, Incest, and Inebriation: Is it Time to Ban Australia Day?

January 26, 2016 12

(StopMasturbationNOW)—When you say Australia, most of the world thinks about prison colonies, Crocodile Dundee, Olympic cheaters, terrible music, and kangaroos. But the reality is much much darker than that.

A Typical Drunk Aussie

Australia was founded as the prison for the western world, sexual deviants, masturbators, homosexuals, rapists, and murders were put here as the land resembled a hell worse than death itself. Unfortunately they bred and as the world got smaller Australians became a part of the rest of the world.


Today […]

BLUFF Turns Away Syrian Self-Rapists

November 17, 2015 17

SAFFORD-AZ Brother Lonnie’s University of FaithFacts (BLUFF) has vowed not to accept any refugees from Syria into their campus in response to the revelation that masturbators may have entered Europe as part of a wave of migrants from the war-torn region. The move complicates the Obama administration’s plan to accept 10,000 Syrians into the country over the next year.

“I will not stand complicit to a policy that places our campus in Arizona in the hands of self-rapists,” a spokesperson for […]

The SMN Ethnic Outreach Program Reaches Mexicans With La Anti-Masturbación Cross®

October 19, 2015 9

Los padres, has lo que nunca imaginó que su hijo masturbándose? ¿Le preocupa lo que hacen cuando vuelves la espalda? ¿Tienes miedo de que van a caer en las garras de Satanás?No te preocupes más! Presentación de la Anti-Masturbación Cross®! Diseñado por PARADA Masturbación EMPRESA ingenieros, este dispositivo de restricción maravillosa le permite seguir con su día sin la persistente sospecha de que su descendencia están tratando a sus cuerpos como una especie de pervertido parque de diversiones.Ahora con descuento […]

Brother Lonnie Announces He Forgives Native American Teepee Indians

October 12, 2015 38

Brother Lonald “Lonnie” Childs has long been a pioneer in race relations through his compassionate programs to institute White privilege for all through prayer and free skin bleaching procedures.  As such Brother Lonnie has seen a disturbing rise of intolerance that he has decided to combat.  With recent efforts by intolerant White LIEberals to erase Teepee Indians from our culture by renaming the Washington Redskins, Brother Lonnie has decided it is time for America to own up to it’s treatment […]

Bananas: Satan’s Fruit

July 30, 2015 19


Throughout nature, we at B.L.U.F.F and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow have found a plethora of disgusting natural objects that codify self-rape, but perhaps none is so blatantly obviously created to be a foul dingus as that demonic penis-resembling fruit: the banana.


Here we see Mexicans harvesting bananas, which will fund ISIS, surely

The agenda of this yellow phallus shaped succulent fruit is unclear. Try as though we might, we have yet to be able to get the bananas […]

A Hand Up, Not a Hand Job

July 13, 2015 21


Ever since the Oriental race was first domesticated by man, the female of the species has proven herself an excellent companion to her male better, attending to his needs for a negligible fee and enduring psychological and bodily torments Western women have long since spurned, though it is their biblical duty to patiently abide them. While harmless in captivity, female Orientals can be extremely dangerous if encountered in the wild. As the once-steady trickle of Oriental immigrants has exploded into a raging torrent […]

New Zealand, the World’s Self Rape Hell

June 20, 2015 15

New Zealand is a volcanic mass in the middle of the sea lying east of the Island nation of Austria. It has been proven that the earthquake and natural disasters which formed New Zealand were the point from which devils burst through the earth in the demonic ascension, one of Satanism’s blackest unholy days.

The Holy Bible contains countless references to this event. Ezekiel 16.3 speaks of “great rumblings of darkness where no souls care to tread” and the book of […]

Lonnie Childs Meets with ISIS leaders

May 19, 2015 4

(StopMasturbationNOW)— Doctor Lonnie Childs, founder and leader of Stop Masturbation Now Industries, recently wrapped up an unprecedented 3 day conference with ISIS leaders. Hosted in Winnipeg Manitoba the “Winnipeg Summit” as it is now called focused on several topics including the price of oil, dangers of masturbation, and limiting the any future growth of ISIS to current Arabic countries.

                “The Great Prophet Doctor Childs went out of his way to ensure us that he has no objection to our existence […]

Was the Great Wall of China Built to Keep Foreigners out or Orientals in?

May 5, 2015 1

(StopMasturbationNOW)—For years we have been lied to. The Chinese tell stories of how over a hundred years ago Chinese people built the Great Wall of China to keep foreign invaders out.

New research by Brandon Walker at the Wyoming institute of Technology has revealed it is not the case. “After intensive studies of BING maps and looking at photographs of the wall I have come to the irrefutable conclusion that the wall was not build by the Chinese but by Europeans […]

Mexico Punished By Huge Volcanic Eruption

April 27, 2015 11

(StopMasturbationNOW)—Praise Lonnie Childs! The Calbuco volcano in the Mexican state of Chile continued erupting for the second week causing over 6500 people to flee their mud huts. The ash and fire has reportedly shot as high as 40,000 feet. About 1,500 people in Ensenada, in the foothills of the volcano, were told to evacuate earlier this week, essentially turning it into a ghost town, The Associated Press reported. A new round of evacuations came Friday as ash and mud were […]

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