Are All Internet Trolls Masturbators?

May 29, 2015 5

B.L.U.F.F CAMPOUND (SAFFORD, AZ) Workers at the B.L.U.F.F Campound and Uranium Mines in Safford, Arizona announced today that they have proven that all internet trolls are horrible, Godless, masturbating, heathens. In an exhausting study of […]

Avoiding Masturbation: 5 Things Men Should Not Do

February 18, 2015 13

(StopMasturbationNow)—Many men suffer from an addiction to masturbation. They want to stop but find themselves engaged in everyday activities that practically encourage spontaneous masturbation. We recommend that men in the household abstain from the following […]

New Downs Discovered, Masturbation To Blame

January 30, 2015 7

U.K. B.L.U.F.F BIOSCIENCE CAMPOUND (SMNN) A shocking statistic released by the U.K.B.L.U.F.F.B.C revealed the results of the extensive several pages of data collected by myself, and various other SMN Deacons and Elders, such as Cassidy […]

New Female Masturbation Solution

January 30, 2015 20

Brother Lonnie’s Anti-Masturbation Research and Development team has recently completed work on one of their most ambitious projects to date; a contraption that serves as a solution to the female masturbation problem. The new product, […]

Masturbator Marries Herself

January 30, 2015 7

Houston TX (SMNN) A great offense against Our Lords took place in Houston, Texas, when a non-Normal-lesser-gendered married her own self, most likely, having caused the baby Jesus to weep on the cross out of […]

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