In-Depth Interview with Big Masturbation

December 16, 2014 4

SECRET LOCATION- SOMEWHERE (SMNNN) We at Stop Masturbation Now are pleased to present this interview with an actual high-ranking official of Big Masturbation. Our own Professor Doctor Wizard Cardinal Thomas Kelly interviewed this “person” about […]

Shia Labeouf Self-Raped at Art Exhibit

November 29, 2014 8

Los Angelos, CA- (SMNN) Actor Shia Labeouf, known for movies such as Even Stevens and Transformings 4: Rise of The Batman, told pretty much anyone who would listen, that he was a victim of self-rape […]

B.L.U.F.F. Libary Re-Opens, Receives New Tank

September 27, 2014 10

Safford AZ-(SMNNN) B.L.U.F.F. library officially re-open, under great ceremony, last evening. The library, having been destroyed in a raging spontaneous fire that had nothing to do with any wizards whatsoever, has been newly renovated, and […]

Win a Stop Masturbation Now AR-15 Rifle!

September 20, 2014 11

SAFFORD, ARIZ. — Did you know Stop Masturbation Now Ministries Inc. is GIVING AWAY a fully semi-automatic AR-15 assault rifle? Yes! For a limited time, you can enter the official SMN Rifle Raffle to win […]

Pioneers In Anti-Masturbation, Episode One

September 19, 2014 9

Preventing masturbation is a cause that has been championed throughout history by many great normals. Among the outstanding members of this fraternity of morality and decency, one man stuck out like a sore-thumb, and eventually, […]

1 2 3 4 5