Pioneers In Anti-Masturbation, Episode One

September 19, 2014 9

Preventing masturbation is a cause that has been championed throughout history by many great normals. Among the outstanding members of this fraternity of morality and decency, one man stuck out like a sore-thumb, and eventually, […]

Texas Worker Fired For Pizzabation

September 16, 2014 4

GEORGETOWN TEXAS-(SMNNN) An 18-year-old pizza store employee in Texas has been charged with a felony after police say he rubbed his genitals on food he was preparing for a customer. The Georgetown Police Department arrested […]

Real Men Don’t Masturbate

September 11, 2014 6

There have been many outrageous changes in the roles of the sexes over the past 60 years. Militant feminism, internet pornographics and dangerous minorities have forever corrupted the core family values of our great nation. As a […]

Masturbation Poisons Groundwater

September 10, 2014 2

Danvers ME-(SMNNN) Elementary school students of Danvers, Maine have tested at an all-time low, and masturbation is to blame, say new studies done by B.L.U.F.F. Aqua-management Surveying Division. Masturbation Film Residue Particles, or MFRPs, as […]

Do Not Take The Bad AIDS Challenge

September 8, 2014 27

“Our prayers will heal the damage to your soul from life of masturbation, but only time will heal your vagina.” – Brother Doug Pinnic The fact that masturbation gives you the Gay, is basic Faith Science. […]

The Temptations of the Camel Toe

August 20, 2014 12

Indeed, the camel toe is Satan’s powerful weapon in his war to destroy your soul. A camel toe is a slang used to describe the shape and appearance of certain female boxes. When a woman […]

How to “Rescue” your dog from Masturbation

August 10, 2014 20

We all know that masturbation advocates claim that Masturbation is “natural” and they back-up that claim by saying that Animals do it. This statement is false, to a certain degree. Most animals do not masturbate, […]

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