Masturbation Mystery Unraveled

March 26, 2020 2

Ever wonder what the name of the sportswear company, ADIDAS, stood for? Wonder no more! STOP Masturbation NOW codebreakers have deciphered the seemingly nonsensical word and it appears that the slippery tentacles of Big Masturbation […]

Is Masturbation Rape?

March 25, 2020 14

In civilized society of old, masturbators were ridiculed and looked down upon. People saw masturbation as a pox and something that caused blindness, fishy smelling fingers, and hairy palms. However, Satan has been hard at […]

How To Spot a Masturbator

February 20, 2020 221

Most people wash their hands as a way to stay clean and prevent the spread of harmful germs.  When using the restroom, a normal person will wash their hands upon entering the restroom so as […]

David Bowie Dead Of Cancer

January 11, 2016 50

ENGLAND, PROBABLY, MAYBE SCOTLAND (SMNNN) Horrible androgen Martian-spider/human hybrid Sex-goblin rockpop icon, and profuse masturbator David Bowie succumbed to various masturbation related cancers today, he was 69 years old. Bowie, long an androgynous mess of […]

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