Lonnie Childs to Forgive Muslims for 9/11

September 12, 2015 0

(StopMasturbationNow)—In his annual 9/11 remembrance speech; SMN Industries founder and leader Lonnie Childs announced the need for forgiveness and reconciliation with the religion responsible for the terrible acts on 9/11. Our Faith is based on […]

Won’t You Please Help?

September 2, 2015 18

For immediate release: “My brothers and sisters…I, Lonald “Lonnie” Childs, having fought the scourge of masturbation for decades now must come to you in our most desperate hour.  The 30% tithe of their gross income […]

SMN Self Rape Alert: Mad Max Fury Road

May 20, 2015 11

SMN Safford, AZ-As kids flock to the latest Hollywood Blockbuster, Mad Max-Fury Road, a disturbing parental alert has been issued by the Faith Advisory Parental Media Information and Liturgical Foundation (FAPMILF), the anti-masturbation in media […]

Masturbator Marries Herself

January 30, 2015 7

Houston TX (SMNN) A great offense against Our Lords took place in Houston, Texas, when a non-Normal-lesser-gendered married her own self, most likely, having caused the baby Jesus to weep on the cross out of […]