Self-Rape Prevention

1st Annual Celebration of Normals: Columbus, Ohio 9/20/14

1st Annual Celebration of Normals: Columbus, Ohio 9/20/14

STOP Masturbation NOW Premier Event Please join Stop Masturbation Now and Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin for the 1st Annual Celebration of Normals at Goodale Park in tropical Columbus, Ohio on Saturday September 20, 2014 10:00am-10:00pm Everyone is Welcome* Have your Children sign the Stop MAsturbation Now Pledge and get their […]

The most expensive graphic in human history, shows how right we are! Praise!

Graphs Prove SMN Ministries Right

SAFFORD-ARIZONA, B.L.U.F.F CAMPUS. (SMNNN) New graphs released by B.L.U.F.F and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow, reaffirm what B.L.U.F.F. quite loudly proclaimed, they knew all along. The most recent graph relates the increase in masturbations done in urban settings, within the United States of America, over the past five years, […]

by July 15, 2014 8 comments Morals, Science, Self-Rape Prevention, Trending
A Word To the Masturbators

A Word To the Masturbators

Hello fellow Chosen Normals, I, Professor Doctor Brother Dean Thomas Kelly, Necromancer of the twenty-fifth level, would just like to say a quick word about violating your sin-center for the foolish, evil, and disgusting purpose of sexual self-gratification: Don’t. Praise, and may God bless those that matter.

by July 14, 2014 18 comments Disciples, Morals, Self-Rape Prevention
The FaithFacts are in: Tattoos are a Sin.

The FaithFacts are in: Tattoos are a Sin.

To Tattoo or Not To? FaithFacts™, Tattoos and You SAFFORD, ARIZ. – Today, there is lots of peer pressure to “get inked.” Everyone, from perky middle school students to “brodudes” to auto mechanics to soccer moms to Wall Street brokers to saggy old ladies with “granny bumps” are getting all sorts […]

Grand Opening: Childs Youth Procreation Adventure Theme Park

Grand Opening: Childs Youth Procreation Adventure Theme Park

A new procreation-themed learning park for Christian children will open Friday at Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts compound resort in Arizona. Childs Youth Procreation Adventure is designed specifically for children as young as 3 to learn about the dangers of masturbation and Homogayness. “The Christian procreation park completely embodies the idea of creating an environment focused […]

Saving Souls From Masturbation On Public Transportation

Saving Souls From Masturbation On Public Transportation

We all learned in history class, that back in 1892, Harriet Tubman boarded a bus and refused to move from the front seat for a White man. This caused the “Civil Rights” protests and eventually, “Affirmative Action”. What they don’t teach in Public Schools though, is the reason why this […]

Christian Anti-Masturbation Group’s Mascot Arrested For Public Masturbation

Christian Anti-Masturbation Group’s Mascot Arrested For Public Masturbation

Phoenix, AZ — In an ironic twist of a fate, a mascot for a Christian anti-masturbation group was arrested Sunday for masturbating in public. The organization recently finished a federally funded 31-city nationwide school tour which it says focused on educating both children and parents about the dangerous consequences of […]

by July 7, 2014 18 comments Self-Rape Prevention
Ways To Abstain From The Sin of Masturbation

Ways To Abstain From The Sin of Masturbation

It is a known fact that masturbation is a top-ten cause of serious disease, as well as an act of incest and a act of homosexuality. As dictated by the Lord’s prophet on earth Lonald “Lonnie” Childs, we must not only abstain completely from masturbation, we much preach abstinence to […]

Prostate Cancer And Other Masturbation Related Diseases

Prostate Cancer And Other Masturbation Related Diseases

MASTURBATION IS A TOP TEN CAUSES OF DISEASE Aches, Heart Disease, Paralysis and Suicide: When sexual organs are handled it causes a rush of blood to these parts, and causes oxygen depletion in other organs of the body, because they are left with a less amount of blood than they […]

From supreme gentlemen to masturarchy supremacist all in a matter of months! #Yesallmasturbatorsrape

[Opinion]: Anti-Masturbation Is the Only Logical Stance for Feminists to Take on the Issue of Self-Rape

It is not often that the shrill caterwauling of the socially destructive feminist movement could ever be considered to hold something in common with socially responsible Christian conservatism, yet on the subject of self-rape we really should be natural bedfellows [figuratively speaking, of course]. You see, the group that masturbation […]

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