Tina’s Law and Your Tax Dollars at Work

September 16, 2014 5

As fellow Christians and believers in Brother Lonnie’s divinity you are well aware that South Dakota recently passed Tina’s Law which bans masturbation and dangerous interracial coupling. Many of the naysayers have asked how can […]

Texas Worker Fired For Pizzabation

September 16, 2014 4

GEORGETOWN TEXAS-(SMNNN) An 18-year-old pizza store employee in Texas has been charged with a felony after police say he rubbed his genitals on food he was preparing for a customer. The Georgetown Police Department arrested […]

9/11 Was an Inside Handjob

September 11, 2014 17

  Today, we mark the 13th anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks which brought this nation to its knees (homogays were already there, of course). Like the Kennedy Assassination, we all remember where we […]

Pelosi Outburst Caused By Masturbation Addiction

August 5, 2014 14

In a shocking display of unprofessionalism, liberal House Minority Leader, Nancy Pelosi, chased Republican Tom Marino across the House floor during a recent debate. Pelosi, allegedly offended by statements Marino made about her party’s lack of […]

“Jam Band”: A Rising Problem

July 28, 2014 17

      WATERTOWN CT (SMNNN) “ …every song the Grateful Dead wrote was about masturbation, Satan or fornication! Some lyrics: ” Born in the jungle, raised in the lions,den. Numba one occupation, stealin’ wimmens […]

TheRev Leroy Jenkins live at UCLA Campus

July 25, 2014 13

I love taking the Stop Masturbation Now message to the Liberal Bastions of the HomoGay Big Masturbation Institutions of Higher Learning and the Self-Raping Liberal youths enrolled there. Today was an especially good day as […]

Girl Killed by Meteor Strike While Masturbating

July 25, 2014 42

Chelyabinsk, Russian Communist C.C.C.P (SMNN) Thanks to a huge out-pouring of public information, B.L.U.F.F and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow’s informational staff have found evidence that a 16-year-old female was killed by a meteorite […]

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