By Nigel J. Covington III Reporting for SMN News Service (PORTLAND) Michael Thomas Dorgan, 55, of Portland, OR was found guilty Tuesday for the 10th time on a public indecency charge for masturbating in public, […]
ENGLAND, PROBABLY, MAYBE SCOTLAND (SMNNN) Horrible androgen Martian-spider/human hybrid Sex-goblin rockpop icon, and profuse masturbator David Bowie succumbed to various masturbation related cancers today, he was 69 years old. Bowie, long an androgynous mess of […]
SAFFORD AZ (SMNNN) Paul Horner, the man inside the Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin furry mascot suit has been sentenced to eight years in federal prison following his arrest for accosting sea-animals at Sea World aquarium. […]
B.L.U.F.F CAMPOUND, SAFFORD AZ (SMNNN) Brother Lonnie Childs revealed today, that God himself, in all his Godly splendor and wisdom, decreed unto Brother Lonnie the command to augment the traditional Ten Commandments, and replace them […]
U.S.A- SMNNN The sickening and immoral trend of reprobate pro-mastubation troglodytes of The United States, #1 country of all time, of “masturdating” has infected our population, like one of the various plagues that were predicted […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)— A residential apartment building collapsed and was engulfed in flames today in New York City’s East Village neighborhood. There was no immediate information on possible injuries, said a spokesman for the New York Police […]
Flock, it has come to my attention that a rather significant secular music festival, South By Southwest (SBSW), is currently taking place in Austin, Massachusetts. Like any festival, desperate masturbators looking for self-rape material are […]
(StopMasturbationNow)—ESPN television host and frequent job changer Keith Olbermann suffered a masturbation induced rage episode where he attacked Penn State University students who raised money to fight pediatric cancer. The shameful incident happened Sunday night […]
PHOENIX, ARIZ. — In a fiery press conference, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio angrily defended the arrest of Pastor Lonnie Childs at his mobile soup kitchen outside a Phoenix homeless shelter. On Saturday evening, the […]
(StopMasturbationNow)—Obama is a terrible president. No wonder he can be found here laughing at the grotesque film “2 girls 1 can” on an Macintosh ipad. Will Farrell is best known for starring in the Vacation […]
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