Ebola Discovered Spread Via Masturbation

August 14, 2014 6

SIERRA LEONE – A French foreign aid worker has contracted the Ebola virus through masturbation. The World Health Organization morns the loss of a brave volunteer, Jorge Pierre-Francios, who was assisting the infected in a […]

Masturbation Facts that Will BLOW YOUR MIND!

August 1, 2014 53

Ocean Water and Semen Ocean water is salty. Semen is salty. You should never swallow ocean water while swimming. You should never masturbate, NOR should you swallow your own semen after masturbating. Lonnie Childs’ Law […]

Childs Youth Establishes Beachhead In China

August 1, 2014 1

Hebei Province – CHINA (SMNNN) The growing Anti-Masturbation Youth Movement, the Childs Youth, recently fired the first shot in the attempt to convert the Chinese mainland to the ways of masturbation abstinence. A gang of […]

Karate for Perverts

August 1, 2014 3

Masturbation is a same-sex sex-act that one performs on themselves. By doing so, you touch the sex organ of your own gender and become so aroused that you climax. This conditions the body and mind […]

Brother Lonnie’s Skin Bleaching Program Proving a Huge Success

July 31, 2014 4

Rejoice brothers and sisters! A moment of righteous vindication is upon us. After weeks of false accusations and liberal media criticism, Brother Lonnie’s Bleach Away The Sin therapy for children of dangerous minorities is exceeding all expectations! Hours after […]

A History Lesson to the Masturbators

July 27, 2014 67

SAFFORD, ARIZ. — Masturbation is a sin that breaks God’s heart. Thus, the true soldiers of God have always been at war with The Masturbator.  Professor Milton Grits explains how in the 20th Century the […]

Girl Killed by Meteor Strike While Masturbating

July 25, 2014 42

Chelyabinsk, Russian Communist C.C.C.P (SMNN) Thanks to a huge out-pouring of public information, B.L.U.F.F and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow’s informational staff have found evidence that a 16-year-old female was killed by a meteorite […]

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