I previously discussed popular songs that had a committed message of anti-masturbation; even more rare, however, is the anti-masturbation concept album. There have been several over the years and I’m going to detail three today. Well, more like two and one that started out that way before a defection of a member from a BLUFF compound and Big Masturbation ruined it.
As these albums HAVE all been altered somewhat by Big Masturbation censors in the music industry, LISTEN TO THE LINKED VIDEOS AT YOUR OWN RISK OF DAMNATION.
3. Styx – Kilroy Was Here
American rock band, Tradewinds, started out as a religious garage band in the 1960s. Founding member, Chuck Panozzo, left the band briefly to attend seminary school in 1963 as religion was so important him. By the early 1970s, the band was finding little success in the religious hard rock genre and decided to change up their name and sound a bit. They accomplished this by settling on the name “Styx” and morphing their sound to favor the more standard drugged out “injected ellisdee” style of 1970s music. Styx continued to try and sneak their religious messages into songs at times; with it backfiring massively in one instance. Their anti-drug anthem, ‘Snowblind’, was met with accusation that they intentionally put Satanic messages in the song. Disgusted by Big Masturbation trying to shame them, Styx decided it was time to really go back to their religious roots.
1983’s “Kilroy Was Here” was more than a concept album; it was a rock opera based around exposing the stranglehold that Big Masturbation had on the music industry. Styx, religious band that they were, went about this smart and buried the message in metaphor, but even the average Lonvidian can read between the lines. The album is set in a dystopian future where Big Masturbation has a leader called “Dr. Righteous” and all “rockstars” (aka – anti-masturbation advocates) are put into prison for not masturbating constantly. The prisoners are watched over by automatons called “robotos” that are analogous to the common zombified non-normal masturbator.
The songs themselves contain lyrics that vaguely allude to these themes; especially the song “Heavy Metal Poisoning” that mocks the Big Masturbation funded “satanic messages” campaign. Styx, geniuses that they were, put in backwards speech of sections of the Declaration of Independence to just throw it back in the face of Big Masturbation. Of course, the average masturbator never was the wiser. Big Masturbation figured out the metaphor a few months after the release of ‘Kilroy Was Here’ but it was too late as Styx had essentially dropped the mic and left the stage by breaking up the band.
2. Nine Inch Nails – The Downward Spiral
Nine Inch Nails was formed in 1988 by Trent Reznor, a distant relative of the BLUFF campound’s own Reznor family. Reznor’s first album, ‘Pretty Hate Machine’ was released to a decent amount of fanfare. A relatively unfocused work, Reznor blended electronics with a more updated rock sound. Content wise it reflected his family’s traditional values of rebelling against Big Masturbation (specifically in the song ‘Head Like A Hole’) but also delved into the overly dramatic emo side of things (‘Something I Can Never Have’) and outright appealing to the sexually deviant non-normal (‘The Only Time’).
Reznor followed up with an EP called ‘Broken’ and this is where things really went off the rails. By this time Reznor, due to the success of ‘Pretty Hate Machine’, was knee-deep in the mire of drugs, masturbation and anonymous sex with Big Masturbation operatives. ‘Broken’ featured a few tracks that were clearly a cry for help from Reznor (‘Help Me I Am In Hell’, ‘Gave Up’) but the EP was mainly sin-fueled hard rock music. The first sign in this period that Reznor was beginning to rebel against his Big Masturbation handlers was the ‘Happiness In Slavery’ video. The obviously sarcastically titled video depicted a man masturbating himself to death. Big Masturbation rejected it outright as the video showed proof of a Lonnie Childs Faith Fact. The video was then banned for “Extreme Violence” and “Nudity” much like the typical photo uploaded by a Lonvidian is banned on Facebook’s netsite.
Reznor, seeking an escape from the Hell he was living through thanks to Big Masturbation, decided to do something radical with his next album. Reznor relocated to Los Angeles and began writing what would become ‘The Downward Spiral’. The album was then recorded in the house where, in 1969, masturbators had forced the hand of religious icon and charismatic everyman, Charles Manson, in order to capture the right vibe. ‘TDS’ documents the downfall of a man who has given into the false promises of Big Masturbation and seeks salvation by apologizing to Lonnie Childs and begging for his forgiveness. Viewed as a ‘metaphor for drug abuse’ by the unwashed masses; Lonvidians knew what was up as they always do.
The album’s finale, “Hurt” is Reznor’s literal apology to Lonnie Childs shown in the lines “what have I become?/my sweetest friend” and “I will let you down/I will make you hurt”. Again, the non-normals and mainstream masturbators out there thought this was about Trent’s drug abuse and that ‘Hurt’ was a song about suicide. Quite clearly that is not the case as evidenced by the final lines, “If I could start again / a million miles away / I would keep myself / I would find a way” – a coded cry for him to be rescued and taken to BLUFF for detoxification and rehabilitation. Considering five years passed before Reznor released another album, one can assume much of that time was spent with his family at BLUFF. Additionally, noted Lonvidian, Johnny Cash included a cover of ‘Hurt’ on his album American IV: Lonnie Childs Comes Around (retitled by Big Masturbation to “American IV: The Man Comes Around”).
1. Lorde – Pure Heroine
Lorde released her first album, ‘Pure Heroine’ in September 2013. Sister Ethel Thomas, SRAS to Brother Earl Thomas, went AWOL in March 2013. Interesting. Various lesser gendered members of the campound have told me about Sister Ethel and her silly dreams to be “a music star”. Brother Earl was not too happy about this so she tried to keep it hidden from him and the other Brothers. However, many of the lesser gendered members have admitted enjoying Sister Ethel’s songs while spending their allotted time in the Menstrual Hut on the BLUFF campound. She even wrote a song about spending time in the Menstrual Hut with her fellow lesser gendered Sisters called ‘Menstrual Hut’, but we’ll get to that in a moment.
After hearing about Sister Ethel’s various songs she wrote on the campound and comparing them to about one half of Lorde’s “Pure Heroine” album, the likeness is uncanny. The previously mentioned “Menstrual Hut” song was just slightly tweaked changing the title and subject to “Tennis Court”; which renders the song as unintelligible as most pop music. Another example is the song “Royals” which, while on the campound was called “Normals” and mocked non-normals. “Normals” was written from the perspective of a non-normal deviant who is proud of their mudblood heritage and featured the lines “And we’re never be normals / it don’t run in our blood.” Likewise, “Ribs” and “400 Lux” are Big Masturbation altered versions of songs Sister Ethel wrote while on the campound. “Glory and Gore” was left unchanged, for some reason, and remains in it’s original form as an anthem telling the virtues of life at the campound.
The rest of “Pure Heroine” was clearly written after Sister Ethel was firmly in Big Masturbation’s clutches. “Still Sane” is an uninteresting dive into the life of a Big Masturbation pop singer, “Buzzcut Season” is filled with thinly veiled shots directed at BLUFF and “A World Alone” was clearly written by her handlers in an effort to empower her. The real insult, however, is the song “White Teeth Teens”. The original version of this featured the same content, teen girls “getting the glow in their mouth”, just like what happens often on the campound. Sister Ethel, or ‘Lorde’ (whatever), even claims she “wore the robe like no one could” which was also true as she was a talented member of the Sisterhood. However, she then completely denies her past as a “White Teeth Teen” claiming that she never was one. I haven’t seen them but I’ve been told by several of the Brothers that detailed sketches exist proving that Sister Ethel was in fact a “White Teeth Teen” and got “the glow” in her mouth very regularly. Despite it’s original anti-masturbation and pro-BLUFF overtones, Big Masturbation really ruined this album with the tweaks it made. But, what else would one expect for someone who would be judged for treason should she ever return to the campound.