As a devout Lonvidian, I take my religion seriously and regularly attend a Sunday afternoon prayer group. After the prayers are finished, the group either heads to the local cineplex or to the church auditorium to watch one of many documentary films to teach us new things about our faith.
Last Sunday we had a real treat. Pastor Randy, using a series of wires and cables, managed to hook a laptop computer up to the room’s projector and connected to an amazing website. From there, he selected a film at random for us to watch.
After scrolling for a few seconds, the cursor landed on 2013’s “Escape From Tomorrow” and clearly Lonnie was with Pastor Randy and guided his strong, manly hands to click the trackpad onto that title.
“Escape From Tomorrow” is a documentary about a masturbator named “Jim”, who has taken his family on a vacation to the Walt [REDACTED] World theme park in Orlando, Florida. As I’ve lived in Florida the past few years and will be thankfully moving to the West Coast in a few weeks, I was aware of these types of masturbators that try to infiltrate a wholesome environment like Walt [REDACTED] World. Thankfully, this amazing documentary piece covered that very topic and shows the brutal consequences that the [REDACTED] company metes out upon the heathens it is able to catch. This film proves that [REDACTED] takes masturbation in their theme parks very seriously.
Anyway, back to the film. Masturbator “Jim” gets fired, like what happens to most masturbators, and since his life is horrible he decides to get his masturbation fix while at the Walt [REDACTED] Resort. From that moment on, this documentary also serves as a cautionary tale towards any masturbators that may happen upon this cinematic gem.
“Jim” takes his family around the theme park; all the while fixating on some young foreigner girls he sees that appear to be from the country “Freedom” (known as France prior to 2001 when George W. Bush had the name changed officially). “Jim” starts stalking these girls around the park like the common masturbator tends to stalk his prey. He is so blatant about this that even his own young son notices. The film then starts to go off the rails a bit when Jim has this bizarre “dream” sequence where he is having non-procreational sexual relations with a woman that is not his assigned spouse. I think that part may have been staged since they were not going to show the horrors of masturbation on screen and opted for the metaphor of the sex act in place of the actual self-flagellation. I applaud the filmmaker for not making us suffer that image. Sometimes having the scariest parts happen off camera is a far more effective technique and it worked brilliantly during this scene.
From there, it all goes downhill for “Jim” as it does for most masturbators after they have committed the deed. The staff at Walt [REDACTED] World are now on to what “Jim” is up to and are none too pleased. I don’t want to give away the shocking ending, but I’ll give a hint – “Jim” ends up with the same fate as all masturbators before the movie ends.
As a devout Lonvidian, I appreciated the nurse office scene the most, since it reminded me of the medical station at Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts in Safford, Arizona. I think the filmmakers had been there too since there was a similar “Cat Flu” warning sign in the nurse office as to the one I saw at the BLUFF Infirmary when I visited earlier this year. As a fan of cinema, I appreciate little inside tidbits like that and I have to believe that was a special shout out to us Lonvidians.
The faith facts this movie displays are numerous and it is a great film to show to the whole family. ‘Escape From Tomorrow’ is also disturbing enough with the truth it conveys to shock even the most jaded masturbator into thinking twice.
Pastor Randy says he found the film available to watch immediately on some little known online movie netsite called “Netflix”. I’m sure if you type all of that into Bing you will have a decent shot at finding the movie to see for yourself.
Cathy Redmond writes breaking news stories for SMN.org. When Cathy is not exposing the horror of masturbation on this netsite, she enjoys watching documentary films with her prayer group.