Gosling Furious Over McAdams On Set Masturbation

Ryan spent 90 minutes reading to her from the King Lonald Holy Bible

LIBERAL HOLLYWOOD, CALIF. — (SMNNN) Brilliant actor and man’s man, Ryan Gosling, announced today that the filming of “The Notebook” wasn’t all sunshine and pink unicorns. In fact, Gosling admitted to VH1 rival, The Soundtrack Channel, that he wanted co-star Rachel McAdams “kicked off of set for her uncontrollable masturbation episodes”.

“Maybe I shouldn’t be saying this, but Praise Lonnie, it’s my duty. Rachel McAdams masturbated furiously on set from day one. Myself and (director) Nick Cassavetes tried everything we could think of to get her to stop but she flat out refused,” Gosling said. “At one point she’d been masturbating for over 150 minutes and I asked Nick to come over and told him, ‘Would you take her out of here and bring in another actress to read off-camera with me? I can’t. I can’t do it with her.'”

Gosling refused to kiss such an unrepentant masturbator on set so a stunt double was used and replaced with CGI after the fact.
Gosling refused to kiss such an unrepentant masturbator on set; so a stunt double was used and replaced with CGI after the fact.

Director Cassavetes praised Gosling for his numerous attempts to confront McAdams about her apparent masturbation addiction. “We went into a room with a producer; she started screaming and yelling at Ryan about how it was ‘her life’ and he and his ‘crackpot religious mumbo jumbo’ needs to ‘just say away from her’. I walked out at that point,” Cassavetes said. “After about 90 minutes they emerged from the room. Ryan looked better and Rachel seemed less than pleased. I later learned Ryan spent 90 minutes reading to her from the King Lonald Holy Bible. Despite Rachel’s early reluctance, the only way the film was finished was due to Ryan having to constantly proselytize Rachel on a daily basis.”

Gosling hinted at this unrest once before in an interview with the Bertram Iowa Gazette where he stated, “She inspired the worst in me. She is a terrible person and despite my many efforts she continues to be an unrepentant masturbator to this day. It was a strange experience, making a film and not respecting your co-star in any way because of their incorrect life choices.”

McAdams and Gosling were later romantically linked in what Gosling called a “last ditch effort to save Rachel”, but that ended as horribly as one would expect. “The only thing I remember about the night we broke up for good was I’d just spent 96 straight hours reading from the King Lonald Holy Bible and she responded by masturbating back at me. It was at that point I new she was entirely a lost cause.”

The Notebook, a 4 minute animated film about a notebook coming to life when a child thinks about the anti-masturbation allegorical tale “The Empire Strikes Back” went on to win several costuming awards at a local Long Island, NY film festival in 2011.


Cathy Redmond, reporting for StopMasturbationNow.org.

Cathy can be reached via her own netsite or on Facebook‘s netsite.

About Cathy Redmond 104 Articles

Cathy Redmond is a graduate of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, earning degrees in English and Political Science. She likes long walks in the desert, strong Conservative leadership and America.

10 Comments on Gosling Furious Over McAdams On Set Masturbation

  1. help ive masturbated furiously for over 15 years. and as a result i have insane amounts of sexual stamina. I mean serious stamina, I have to have sex with at least 3 women at one time to get off, this is a serious issue for me as most of the women complain that they get bored waiting around for the money shot.

  2. Holy sh*t you people are so f ing stupid. If you are reading any of this and thinking its gospel you need to be put down like old yeller. You people have gone full ret*rd

  3. Haha this is brilliant, blatantly untrue, as i was working on-set at the time, but as a piece of fiction, i love this story!

  4. why is it that the actors at the top of the page have nothing to do with the theme of the article?

    just google rachel and ryan on google, and you’ll see clearly that this misleading “article” can’t even bother to write or portray correct information.

    additionaly, is this fixation on other people masturbating not a sin? afterall, the author seems to be thinking about it all the time…… just a thought

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