Hollywood Bad Boy Charlie Sheen Reveals That He Has the HIV-AIDS!

Romans 1:24 – “Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves.”

Hollywood bad boy Charlie Sheen has been struck down by God. Praise!

Hollyweird, CA – Hollywood bad boy Charlie Sheen, star of the homosexual situation-comedy program Two and 1/2 Half Man, announced that he has been punished by God for masturbating and has been cursed with the HIV-AIDS.  Those who have been monitoring Sheen’s masturbatory practices are not surprised by the news.

“Chuck was the first major success story for the SMN ministries self-celibacy/Normalcy program which he completed with flying colors, transforming himself from the pathetic masturbating Mexican named Carlos Irwin Estevez into the swashbuckling Caucasian hero named Charlie Sheen.” explained Lonnie Childs, founder and prophet of STOP Masturbation NOW ministries.

Charlie Sheen

“Unfortunately, things have taken a turn for the worse,” lamented Childs, “It turned out that he could only ignore the siren song of self-rape for so long and God’s curse is his reward.  Sad, but inevitable.  He had it all; fame, wealth, adoring fans, a same-race spouse and beautiful Caucasian children.  The last time I saw Charlie, the thousand-yard stare in his eyes said it all.  It was clear that he was masturbating again.” continued Childs, “It was obvious that God had answered our prayers regarding the well-being of Charlie, and that answer was ‘no.”

Charlie Sheen leaves behind three ex-wives, five children, and a lifetime’s supply of unused Tiger Blood.

 

About Liam McKey 44 Articles
Liam McKey is a former combat veteran and owner of the only Vegan-Certified ranch in the United States. He has two normal teenage children with his same-race wife. Liam is active in the community of Safford, Arizona where he lives. Mr. McKey is an expert on teenage masturbation addiction and has many degrees from various non-accredited faith-based colleges.
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4 Comments on Hollywood Bad Boy Charlie Sheen Reveals That He Has the HIV-AIDS!

  1. YOUR A BUNCH OF DELUDED CRACK POTS. IF GOD DID NOT WANT US TO “TOUCH” OURSELVES HE WOULD NOT HAVE GIVEN US THE KNOWLEDGE TO DO SO. HOW BOUT PUTTING ALL THIS EFFORT INTO SOMETHING MORE HUMANISTIC, LIKE FEEDING THE HOMELESS AND XMAS? BUNCH OF FUCKING TWATS.

    P.S THATS NOT CHARLIE SHEEN THATS HIS YOUNGER BROTHER IN YOUR MAIN PIC.

    FUCKING DICK HEADS

    • Guy who doesn’t understand jokes, I am so glad you’re here! I was reading this whole website thinking “surely someone thinks this is real.” Then you came!

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