(STOPMasturbationNOW)– Kim Jong Un has achieved yet another level of mass mind control success after closing a music deal with Snoop Doggy Dogg to release a mind control song and take over all of North America and Lesser Mexican America. The song entitled Hangover was written with subliminal Korean messages telling Americans to:
“Worship Satan through mass masturbation,
Feel his evil inside of you,
Do not go to church,
Worship Korean women in booty shorts,
Strangle the featherless chicken,
Plunge your feminine drain pipe,
Eat your babies,
Eat your neighbor’s babies,
Make love at your mother…”
The rest of the lyrics are too racy to put in print.
When asked about the new song, North Korean paperboy Ong Bak Sun said, “I love Hangover. I listen to this song non stop. I love Kim Jong Un. I pray that he is healthy and successful. I am very happy in North Korea. I do not wish to die. Thank you Kim Jong Un for giving us a sunny day. Thank you Snoop Dogg for giving North Korea fresh air to breathe. I am very happy in North Korea. I do not wish to die.”.
Record sales in North Korea have been amazing. The Hangover single has sold over 32 billion copies through iTunes, which is made even more amazing by the fact that there are only a purported 24.76 million citizens in North Korea.
When asked for comment on Kim Jong Un’s success with his new song, Dennis Rodman simply dropped his head and wept into his oversized hands.
STOP Masturbation NOW Entertainment Reporter, Christina McIerncock Rubright