Masturbation… #NotEvenOnce

Many famous celebrities have been caught with their hands where they shouldn’t be. The “Not Even Once” Faith Fact has been documented with a series of “Before” and “After” web photos that show the steady decline that happens after masturbating even just one time.

Feel free to share these memers with your friends, family, co-workers and church groups. It is imperative that everyone knows that masturbation disfigurement can happen to anyone – even the rich and powerful.

Praise.

Not Even Once 1Not Even Once 2

Not Even Once 3Not Even Once 4

 

Not Even Once 5Not Even Once 6

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About Cathy Redmond 104 Articles
Cathy Redmond is a graduate of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, earning degrees in English and Political Science. She likes long walks in the desert, strong Conservative leadership and America.

30 Comments on Masturbation… #NotEvenOnce

  1. Are you guys SMOKING something cause if so man you guys got the bad shits. Lmao... Masturbation is actually healthy for the human body DUMBASSES!

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          • That makes about as much sense as saying the leading cause of the sky being blue is gods enormous blue penis

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          • in reply to the post below this one, I DO have a Blue Penis chump, and its long enough to wrap around the world 500 times, so that i can find that unsuspecting woman and rape her and start a new religious revolution, but i screwed up a few times, sorry for Paris Hilton, Hilary Clinton, and Julian's mom, Sorry everyone I should have looked into the dysfunction of these peoples parents a bit more and maybe looked into the future. But on those times i was getting high with my son Jesus, who says "You blubbering imbeciles I died on the cross to abolish all your sins. Past, present, and Future. You don't need to pray to me especially with your rants that people being gay is immoral cause dudes i imbibed in a few boys in my day." So good day to you idiots may you be blessed with a giant cock to play with and to you sexy ladies Give St. Peter something for his Spank Bank, he's starving up here.

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      • I hate to break it to you son, but trolls are a fictional creature - they don't really exist.

        Do your parents know that you are using their computer to bother adults on the interweb?

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        • I hate to break it to you, man, but God may be an invention of the human race because of their incessant need to follow - he may not really exist.

          Does your priest know that you are using the computer to bother intelligent people in the internet?

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  2. Wow. This is unbelievably cruel and completely counterintuitive, especially when it comes to raising a healthy child. Do you imbeciles really think that teaching your kids to be ashamed of their own bodies and urges will help them? What is wrong with you? You should all be sterilized and never allowed around any child; genetically similar or not. I say this with utmost certainty and with every fiber of my being: FUCK YOU.

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    • Im finding it harder and harder to tell whos serious and whos just trying to be funny

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  3. Praise GOD! I've found the solution to my problem! Now, I'll just need my wife to strap me into the masturbation cross so I can't masturbate anymore! What a relief! I just hope she doesn't get any naughty ideas while I'm all tied up...

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  4. this is some fuckin funny shit. now I must go and fuck myself...oh wait a minute, I almost forgot, Satan still owes me a blowjob.. I'll see you fuck-sticks later!

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  5. Ich hoffe mal, das ihr den Mist hier nicht wirklich ernst meint und die Site ein (schlechter) scherz ist... Man muss schon ernste probleme haben um sowas ernst zu meinen.

    Have fun while translating..

    Greetz from Germany

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    • Hello, Ikke. I had a great time having this translated, thanks for hoping that I would. I contacted Brother Scott Holt from Brother Lonnie's University of Faith Facts and sent him what you posted. Brother Holt is an expert on dead and archaic languages and it took him several hours of work. However, after consulting several leather bound books from pre-history he determined what you were trying to say was:

      "I am Lonnie Childs. We are all Lonnie Childs. Praise Him and this (Holy) netsite. May Lonnie's staff and rod be rigid and strong in the battle against the forces of Big Masturbation."

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      • sister cathy, I had a horrifying vision of you burning in hell for being a dumbass. I hope its nothing but im atheist :'(

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        • Hello, Satan. Lonnie taught us how to see through your thinly veiled attempts to masquerade either as one of us or as our own doppelgänger. I'm afraid you're not dealing with a Level 1 Believer here but a Level 50 Faith Fact Professor so I won't fall for your remedial trickery. Nice try, foul demon.

          Praise.

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  6. I rubbed my fully erected penis on my computer screen just because I hate the fact that a few dip shits don't like the fact of kids jerking off 😉

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  7. Cathy Redmond, I hope u don't mind but I just emptied my load all over your face that I printed off! It felt so satisfying to know I was doing it for a good cause but maybe next time I could do it in front of you and you could open your mouth whilst I rub to catch the salty goodness?

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  8. LMAO guys relax this site is just IRONIC.. omg i love it.. its sooo funny just check the pics cmooon ahahhaha

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