Celebrity / Death / Foreigners / Gateway Drug / Lifestyle / Morals / World

Michael Hutchinson, Lead Singer of British Band INXS, Suffers Humiliating Masturbation Death

Hear that sound?  That’s the sound of Satan accepting a new victim into his realm.  Michael Hutchinson, lead singer of British death metal band INXS, died recently due to masturbation-related complications.  From an outsider’s perspective Michael seemed to have a fulfilling yet wild life.  He had money, fame and respect.  He had sold out concerts and hit records.  Unfortunately, however, Michael had a devil inside him.  A devil that seduced him with the irresistible song of self-rape.  Over the years, Michael had developed an addiction to masturbation that he just could not kick.  As with most addicts, Michael was constantly trying to recapture the elusive “high” from his first masturbation session.  Industry insiders have dubbed this futile effort Chasing Onan.  Simple one-on-oneself rape proved not thrilling enough for him.  He needed a new sensation.  Without getting into details, this dangerous path led Michael to an inevitable, gruesome demise.  His withered, masturbation-riddled corpse was discovered hanging in a hotel room in Sydney, Australia, birthplace of Hitler.

How many more people must suffer and die by their own hand?  Please don’t end up like Michael Hutchinson.  Make today the day you take the STOP Masturbation NOW pledge of self-celibacy and be Saved!

 

God bless some of you,

-Lonnie Childs

 

 

 

 

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Liam McKey
6 years ago

It’s dificult for me to feel sorry for Australians, like Michael Huttchins and Arnold Schwartsenegger.

Cathy Redmond
6 years ago

His unkempt drug addict hair gives it all away. What a waste of an Earthly flesh vessel that could have been used to promote moral things.

Praise.

Sim Tyuty
Sim Tyuty
6 years ago

1) That’s not Michael Hutchinson. That’s Jim Morrison who’s been dead for over 40 years….
2) It’s not Michael Hutchinson, it’s Michael Hutchence…and has been dead since 1997

Therefore, this article is a lie….

Milton Grits
6 years ago
Reply to  Sim Tyuty

No you’re wrong. We won’t hold it against you that you do not pay attention to pop music very music. It is a sordid realm of debauchery and tragedy.

Milton Grits
6 years ago
Reply to  Milton Grits

*very much.

The Man
The Man
6 years ago

Don’t pay any attention to Lonnie. I have secret video footage that shows proof positive that Lonnie is a closet masturbator, as well as an abuser of male dogs. Look for a special expose of SMN and B.L.U.F.F. to appear on all the television networks next month. It will blow the load off this scam.

Liam McKey
6 years ago
Reply to  The Man

We have friends in the media. Even if you had such a video, which you don’t, nobody would air it.

The Man
The Man
6 years ago
Reply to  Liam McKey

You may have friends, but I’m a sponsor, with lots of ads to air and lots of money. And the tape is real. Check your TV guide in a couple of weeks.

The Man
The Man
6 years ago
Reply to  The Man

Except maybe on Fox, which only airs lies anyway. I don’t want them getting any of my money. Big Masturbation will not be stayed. The youth of the world belongs to us.

I am youth and we all hate you
I am youth and we all hate you
6 years ago
Reply to  The Man

I would rather die than be associated with this cult. I have told my friends about you all and they are disgusted. Hope you all get the karma you deserve.
God bless.

Cathy Redmond
6 years ago
Reply to  The Man

All of these references to a “tape” and “TV Guide” make me think “The Man”‘s threat is actually a threat from 1983 that the BLUFF legal team deal with before I was even born.

Likely some form of extreme weather is causing corruption in the internet lines and sending this text from someone’s old computer to this netsite.

Praise.

Cathy Redmond
6 years ago
Reply to  Cathy Redmond

*dealt with

Liam McKey
6 years ago
Reply to  The Man

So you are going to purchase air-time to show a supposedly pornographic video on TV? A “dirty infomercial” if you will? Good luck with that Corky.

The Man
The Man
6 years ago
Reply to  Liam McKey

We’ve already booked The Jerry Springer show, for starters.

David Miscavige
David Miscavige
6 years ago

I wish to support this site. Where can I donate my 10¢¢?

Cassidy Pen
6 years ago

I said an American prayer for Hutchinson, but he listened instead to Satan when he told Mike, “You Need Meat.” He then tried elaborate masturbation techniques to break on through to the other side and unfortunately for him, his bandmates and loved ones, that’s exactly what happened.

Howard Demarco
Howard Demarco
6 years ago

Didn’t those masturbators learn from the Partridge Family or the Jackson 5? Those were two of the most gruesome cases of masturbation- related mutations of all time.

SPIKE
SPIKE
6 years ago

FAGGOTS SUCK COCKS, EAT CUM, BANG ASSHOLES, & SPREAD AIDS.
LESBIANS LICK, FIST, & DILDO OUT THEIR PUSSIES & ASSHOLES, & THEY SPREAD AIDS, TOO.
NOW, MASTURBATORS ON THE OTHER HAND:

1. DONT SPREAD AIDS.
2. DONT SPREAD OTHER LESS LETHAL STD’s.
3. DONT GO TO JAILS OR PRISONS FOR UNCONTROLLABLE RAPES LIKE THE FUCKING ASSHOLE RAPING ANIMALS DO.

SO, REVEREND DUMB-ASS, PUT THAT IN YOUR ELLIS DEE BONGS & FUCKING SMOKE IT.

(Nick) I'm a Wiccan get over it.
(Nick) I'm a Wiccan get over it.
6 years ago
Reply to  SPIKE

You realize straight people actually do the exact same fucking thing. They even spread aids. If I ever see you sir in public I will make sure to stab the shit out of you.

Dustin
Dustin
6 years ago

Do you fucking retards realize that’s a pic of the legend Jim Morrison not Michael Hutchinson. This website is funny as hell. I like to look at it while I jerk off

Firechicken Man
Firechicken Man
6 years ago

You have incorrect information. First of all, “INXS” is an AUSTRALIAN ALTERNATIVE ROCK band, NOT British or Death metal (basically opposites). Second of all, Hutchence died of drugs and alchohol, NOT masturbation. Drugs are honestly far worse, but the point is that the information. Also, that is Jim Morrison in the picture, who died in the 60s.

Chubbs
Chubbs
4 years ago

72 or 73 actually – can’t remember off the top of my head

(Nick) I'm a Wiccan get over it.
(Nick) I'm a Wiccan get over it.
6 years ago

I’m done this article has lead me to commit suicide. I don’t want to live in a world with these people. Goodbye. Nemesis here I come.

francesca
francesca
6 years ago

the man in the photo is jim morrison, not michael hutchens (that’s his correct name). Hutchens died a long time ago of suicide, he was struggling against depression, not masturbating… and he and his band, INXS, are australian, not english. you are highly misinformed and I think you have serious mental issues.

francesca
francesca
6 years ago

sorry, his name was Michael Hutchence, not Hutchens

Amos
Amos
6 years ago

Do people REALLY not get that this is a joke? Or are they, like, double trolling?

Carlos Danger
5 years ago

As a former huge fan of secular British death metal I am still not over his death. If only he knew Lonnie’s love!

Ken Day
Ken Day
5 years ago

I’m not familiar with devil’s music like INXS. Most bands that resort to using anagrams like that do it to hide their occult roots. I avoid those bands like KISS, ELO, ABC and NKOTB, etc. Either way, just by looking at the photo I can deduce that this man is clearly a drug addict. Just look at him. Anyone decent man with hair that length would have it styled – he just lets it hang wherever it falls. Disgusting. Dr. Childs is correct that this didn’t need to happen, but it is inevitable that this junkie was going to end… Read more »