Self-Rape Alert: Deadpool

FAPMILF Parental Self-Rape Alert: RED - - For Gratuitous Sex and Masturbation Imagry

Who's the top self-rape threat to our precious youth? Deadpool...that's who!

SMN Safford, AZ-The tireless duty of Christian Parents to prevent and punish the vile sin of masturbation has become much harder (pardon the pun) since the opening of the box office smash, Deadpool in local theaters.

A disturbing parental alert has been issued by the Faith Advisory Parental Media Information and Liturgical Foundation (FAPMILF), the anti-masturbation in media arm of Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.).

“Overt and disgusting” Self Rape Content has been uncovered earning the film a FAPMILF color code rating of RED, or nearly 100% danger of masturbation sin to minors and the weak-minded.

Deadpool is very much an anti-hero in terms of his use of the profane and a disturbing loose construct of developed morals. Flashback scenes are plopped onto the audience depicting gratuitous sexual content of a normal and homogay nature, both performed and innuendo. In one scene, Deadpool and the whorelot he shacks up with in his grimy tenement wrestle and fornicate in impossible positions while uttering filthy and demeaning jokes suggesting overtones of deeply held perversions and plans for further degeneration.

The “hero” self flagellates his pathetic crankshaft under the covers while his tawdry chamber lady looks on. Even through blind eyes, she is aware of and promotes him sawing his meatstick to climax. The scene is milked (another regretful pun) into the plot needlessly. Much like the sin of masturbation relates to life, these scenes are a stain on the overall film and add absolutely nothing to the plot..

A young child should never be exposed to filth like this.

Deapool’s assistant, a four-eyed nerd bartender, an obvious self-rapist and in concert to Deadpool’s sexual innuendo, provides meaningless and wisecracked quips whenever the two are together.

Not even the most simplistic masking of self-rape activity is given to Deadpool’s driver, a Japasian of oriental decent, which by ethnic associative definition is a vibrant self-rapist.  Godless orientals are the epitome of masturbation as the homosexual act it is.

All the choreographed actions scenes, disturbing in their own right, are not enough to extinguish the shock and confusion felt by your children from the masturbation scenes. In fact, the overt violence and sexual innuendo which encompasses the entire climactic bloody action sequence can only be described as revoltingly inessential.

It is advised that parents do not expose their offspring to this trash. Even the televisions shows that advertise this crap should be avoided. Yes, I’m referring to adult swim, the bulging right arm of big masturbation’s threat to our precious youth.

My dear friends in Christ, it is essential that we all take action immediately or risk a permanent and lasting persecution by Almighty God against those of us who saw sin, yet did nothing. Please visit your local B.L.U.F.F. and ask for more information about what you can do to help expunge self-rape sin from our culture.

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Cassidy Pen
About Cassidy Pen 80 Articles
Cornelius Bartholomew “Cassidy” Pen, a retired US Marine, Actor, and Security Head-Receiver at B.L.U.F.F. Female Intake, now writes for a number of nationally respected news agencies. A winner of the prestigious Bill O'Reily "No-Spin" Award, Cassidy also runs a daytime street ministry to save souls from the sin of self rape. An avid hunter and manufacturer of distilled spirits, Cassidy would probably be found deep in the woods during his free time.
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12 Comments on Self-Rape Alert: Deadpool

  1. i bet your only against it cause 1.your hiding your sexuality or 2.you had a traumatic memory as a teen from doing some big kinky self rape and your parents walked in. And how the actual fuck is it homosexual I mean seriously guys there's nothing wrong with that and I ain't lesbian cause I like cock in and around my mouth

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  2. Okay, first of all, Deadpool is rated R, meaning restricted, as in NO LITTLE KID SHOULD BE WATCHING THIS FUCKING MOVIE.
    Second, the cab driver is Indian, (not Native American, but from India) who are very religious to their many gods, and good people.
    Third, Weasel, the so called,¨Four-eyed nerd bartender¨, (oh, so apparently, physically requiring glasses to see pisses you guys off too!!!) is a minor character in this movie, and is meant to be like that.
    Deadpool, and the incredibly hot Ryan Reynolds, (yes I am a guy, who likes both parts) are both meant for good, adult humor, something to make you laugh your ass off, whether it be Deadpool turning a guy into a fucking kabob, or Reynolds being in bad movies.

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    • This site is a joke right? You can't quote an organization that's an acronym for FAPMILF and not be a joke can you? I'm so fucking confused right now.

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  3. I love flicking my bean to deadpool 😍😍😍😍😍😁😁💞💞💕🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈😅👀👀👀

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