Snow Mexican Bieber Blasted For Non-Normal Denouncement, Promoting Abstinence From Masturbation.

WEST PALM BEACH, FLA (SMMNN) – Snow Mexican entertainer Justin Bieber has become Big Masturbation’s newest whipping boy after a video of him decrying non-normals and promoting abstinence from masturbation was leaked to the press earlier this week. In typical fashion, the media responded by blasting Bieber mercilessly calling his words “racist” and “extremist”.

In the video, Bieber is shown changing the lyrics of his apparent “hit song” ‘One Less Lonely Girl’ to feature a treatise on the valueless nature of all non-normals and advocating masturbation abstinence. An anonymous source revealed the video was filmed earlier in Bieber’s life, “before he was mind controlled and programmed by Big Masturbation. It represents his true, core values he was raised with.”

Bieber, speaking through a different anonymous source, released the following statement defending his actions on the video:

“As a youngster, I was raised with strong normal values, despite being a Snow Mexican. My career as a pop musician has been the most shameful period of my young life. I gave up my values, I gave up my belief system for the ultimately unfulfilling fame and fortune my handlers achieved for me. I value my upbringing and my time converting to become a normal as a young child more than anything else. I am a man who knows my responsibility to the world and will not make the the mistake of turning my back on my belief system again.”

Bieber’s location at press time was unknown, but it was believed this video may have been leaked due to his going AWOL from his closely controlled and monitored compound in California. It is mere speculation at this early hour, but it’s becoming a more plausible scenario that this video was leaked to the press by Big Masturbation in an attempt to “ruin” Bieber’s popular entertainment career.

It was reported late Wednesday evening that a representative from Lonnie Child’s Stop Masturbation Now organization had possibly reached out to Bieber to offer him asylum and support if his statements recently were in fact his true feelings.

More updates as they become available.

Cathy Redmond, reporting for

About Cathy Redmond 109 Articles
Cathy Redmond is a graduate of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, earning degrees in English and Political Science. She likes long walks in the desert, strong Conservative leadership and America.

3 Comments on Snow Mexican Bieber Blasted For Non-Normal Denouncement, Promoting Abstinence From Masturbation.

  1. The mainstream, state controlled media is now claiming Bieber has been baptized in a bathtub to atone for his sins. I usually support Fox News whenever possible, however, the whitewashing of what Bieber is really doing right now sort of disgusts me.

    Yes, Bieber is a holy man, being wrongly persecuted. However. He did NOT get baptized in a bathtub. I have a source inside the Safford, AZ campound that confirms Bieber was whisked there several days ago where he had several closed door meeting with the elder council before leaving for an undisclosed secured location just hours ago.

    I guess to the state controlled media “baptized in a bathtub” is their way of saying “received the Golden Shower of Love and Forgiveness from Lonnie Childs” but I also sort of understand those reporters may live in fear of Big Masturbation’s strong arm tactics.

    Still, it’s unfortunate that the clear as day Faith Facts™ about this great and misunderstood man have been twisted around by a usually reputable source.

  2. Is it true miley cirus and justien bieber are ine and the same and that the alter ego controlled by big mastrubation is the scantily clad miley? And if so would it be right to fornicate with the alter ego as a sorta “wake up” call to actualy being a snow mexican boy? Or would that be a gayhomo thing to think and do??

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