World Least Funny Atheist, Also World’s Most Prolific Masturbator

Yet another award goes to Ricky Gervais, shame of the U.K.

 

THE ISLAND OF UNITED KINGDOMS- (SMNN)

The world’s least funny man, noted filthy atheist Ricky Gervais admitted today, that he is also the world’s most prolific masturbator. Gervais admits to masturbating in excess of 300 times daily.

Hmmm...
Hmmm…

Ricky Gervais, horrible non-humourous atheist, has long been known to be pure evil, and devoid of morals, but his confession of such heresy has pushed even this lowly troglodyte to the very edge of what society considers tolerable.

Seen here with a glass of his own urine.
Seen here with a glass of his own urine.

Gervais himself, seems non-plussed by the statement, and when questioned about it, refused to give a statement, and began to vigorously rub and clean his Siamese cat with his own tongue, before cackling, and throwing various porcelain objects at our interviewer.

SMNNN snapped this photo right before he threw this cat at our interviewer
SMNNN snapped this photo right before he threw this cat at our interviewer

B.L.U.F.F Healers state that masturbation of this frequency shortens the lifespan of the individual by 6 years per day, making Mr Gervais effectively -568,450 years old.

About Thomas Kelly 62 Articles
Thomas Kelly, SMN Faithscience Editor, is the Dean of several B.L.U.F.F's, as well as the preeminent authority on Faithscience. In addition these lofty titles, he is also a powerful wizard, and holds over fifty non-secular PHDs.

2 Comments on World Least Funny Atheist, Also World’s Most Prolific Masturbator

  1. I never knew he was trying to be funny. I always thought the man had an extra chromosome and would take pity on him. My eyes have now been opened to just how stupid British Athetits are.

    Hell awaits them all!

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