Ohio Housewife Admits to Being Just as Stupid as We Told Her She Was

"I just realized at some point that I really was ignorant. God Forgive me."

Inferior Gendered Housewife shows a spark of intelligence.

Sarah Jenkins is a frequent visitor to our Facebook page, and often makes offensive comments about Lonvidians in multiple posts throughout the day. Many of our members have tried to explain to her how she is ruining her life and family by masturbating – even damning her soul to hell – but up until this Monday, our warnings have fallen on deaf ears.

“It was as if a light went off in my head – I felt the power of Jesus, and I realized what a mistake I had made. Jesus IS real, masturbation IS wrong, and all this time – you guys were right! I feel so stupid!”

Since Sarah admitted her ignorance to several of our members on our page, we have been working hard to help her settle her affairs so that she can visit us here in lovely Safford, AZ. “I can’t wait to meet Lonnie face to face – I want to tell him how wrong I was. I’m hoping for a golden shower, but I’m not holding my breath.”

Sarah hopes to eventually return to school, where she will pursue 8th grade. “I’ve lived in this trailer park all my life. I’d like to move out and find a nice condo. Maybe even a house on the lower side. The sky is the limit, as long as I keep my hands to myself!”

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About BigLarry 21 Articles
BigLarry works at LonnieDale Farms, a wholesome and christian establishment that provides nutritious cat milk to all of our followers. Big and Bold, Larry doesn't mess around when it comes to Jesus, and he doesn't let anyone mess with Lonnie. Praise.

7 Comments on Ohio Housewife Admits to Being Just as Stupid as We Told Her She Was

  1. Now if we can only get women to realize and own up to their being inferior that would be half the battle. But then again... women ignorantly turned their backs on the pampered lifestyle they had as American housewives and mothers. Back when men worked and paid all the bills and provided a home, food and other essentials of life which allowed women to relax around the house all day after maybe 30 minutes of work daily to keep the home clean. Back when women had so much leisure time they could sit around on their portly ass in front of the TV watching soaps and eating Bon Bons all day. What person in their right mind would walk away from a deal like that?

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    • They usually admit to being inferior after a loss in the game of arm wrestling, initiated by yours truly of course.

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  2. I really do hope that you people don't believe any of this. Masturbation is 100% okay.
    Homosexuality is not a disease either. It is another real world thing that has been accepted.
    "Faith scientists" are a joke, I actually laughed when you guys brought up faith scientists. That's not science.

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  3. i'm gonna fucking hack your website and DDOS your fucking servers.
    Jacking off right now as I type LMAO!!!!

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  4. Jesus, you guys are fucking stupid(the author, that is). Please do chop off your blue dicks and DO NOT REPRODUCE. Thanks

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