Church Leaders and Parents are Under Arrest for Spanking “The Gay” out Of Their Children

Their brand of gay conversion therapy failed

view from outside, of the World of Life Church

As reported earlier today by the Associated Press, the parents of Lucas and Christopher Leonard, along with other members of the Word of Life Church, were arrested for Spanking The Gay out of these young men. The apparent beating took place during an intervention at the church itself.  According to prosecutors, the actual charge is “manslaughter”, given the fact that both men died before their homosexuality could be subdued.

Much like SMN Ministries, the World of Life Church functions as both a ministry and residence for followers of the church. Unlike SMN Ministries, however, the World of Life Church had little to no experience in this form of conversion therapy and as a result, the pro-masturbation authorities of New Haven, New York have arrested everyone involved.

When asked for comment, Rev. Lonnie Childs expressed regret for the loss of life, but also commended the family and church members of World of Life Church, for doing what they felt was the right decision.

“It is with a heavy-heart, and unsoiled hands, that I convey my deepest sympathy for the organizers of this intervention. I also hope that Lucas and Christopher’s time in hell can be shortened by vigorous prayer and monetary donations to SMN ministries in remembrance of these young men.”

If you are suspicious about the proper and safe way to spank the gay out of your children, we encourage you to refer to our numerous “How To” articles on this holy netsite that instruct you on the proper way to spank the gay out of your children and stay out of jail at the same time.

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Liam McKey
About Liam McKey 44 Articles
Liam McKey is a former combat veteran and owner of the only Vegan-Certified ranch in the United States. He has two normal teenage children with his same-race wife. Liam is active in the community of Safford, Arizona where he lives. Mr. McKey is an expert on teenage masturbation addiction and has many degrees from various non-accredited faith-based colleges.
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5 Comments on Church Leaders and Parents are Under Arrest for Spanking “The Gay” out Of Their Children

  1. "the proper way to spank the gay out of your children and stay out of jail at the same time"

    Wow, just wow. It's okay to argue with some people over certain subjects, but sometimes you just find things that are so extreme and absurd you don't even bother arguing. At first I actually thought this was an overly exaggerated joke criticizing Christianity, I thought they were kidding and were trying to prove a point. Only after a few minutes I realized they're serious. It's the worst imaginable form of ignorance. The people who made this website... They're the ones who are slowing down history.

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  2. I wish my pastor would spank the gay out of me. I'll be black and blue before he's done. ??? #Spankmefather

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  3. Didn't Jesus hang out with prostitutes and homosexuals and talk about 'those that have never sinned' being the only ones allowed to throw stones (or spank)? 'Spanking' and sin out of a person is itself a perversion of Christianity. Liam, you should be ashamed (and read about what Jesus actually did?)

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