Member of SMN Comes Out As a Gay

Earlier this week, the unthinkable happened.  James Wright, a member of SMN Ministries for two months, came out as a gay man.  Unlike most gay people who flamboyantly sing about being gay, Mr. Wright did not admit that he was gay.  SMN Deacon Jacob Franklin, and his keen eye for homogays, outed Mr. Wright himself.

Jacob Franklin described in a statement to church officials the moment when he outed Mr. Wright.  So, I walked by this person and in-passing, I said “beautiful day today.”  He responded by saying “Yes, it is a beautiful day, and you look well, sir.” Without thinking, I pointed my finger at him and yelled “GAY!”, security then descended upon Mr. Write where he was violently expelled from the compound.

I was able to reach James Wright through his SMN appointed legal counsel.  According to Mr. Wright: I am not gay! I have never done anything gay. I simply complimented, who I thought was a fellow Christian, on his health. Next thing I know, four very strong men who appeared to have Downs Syndrome literally picked me up, walked to the main gate of the compound, and physically threw me past the gate and onto the ground.

Mr. Wright went on to say: I really do not deserve this. I follow the rules, I don’t masturbate and just because I tried to be nice, I’m now homeless and my same-race wife is being reassigned to another member of the ministry. I had to sign-over all of my wealth and possessions to SMN Ministries and my appointed legal counsel says I cannot have any of my property back. I don’t even think he has my best interests at heart. Every time I ask him a legal question, his response is always “You can’t do that” or “That won’t stand up in court.” It’s like he is not representing me at all.

An official for SMN Ministries issued the following public service announcement for the compound in order to alleviate any fears that may be growing among the congregation. We do not know where these threats will come from, but we are prepared for them. As many of you know, we had a Gay among us. Not to panic though. We have an action-plan in place and our staff followed it to the letter. Once we learned about the individual in question, the retard brigade removed him from the grounds immediately. Since then, his living quarters have been undergoing a decontamination process and his same-race assigned spouse will soon be reassigned. We are also interviewing everyone that has been in contact with this individual in order to make sure he hasn’t passed The Gay onto any other members. We also recommend that all parents who have children spank the gay out of them tonight before bed, as a precautionary measure.

It is unfortunate that in today’s age of reason and understanding, there are still deceitful people in this world that will try and pass themselves off as a normal person without regard for the security of others.

About Liam McKey 44 Articles
Liam McKey is a former combat veteran and owner of the only Vegan-Certified ranch in the United States. He has two normal teenage children with his same-race wife. Liam is active in the community of Safford, Arizona where he lives. Mr. McKey is an expert on teenage masturbation addiction and has many degrees from various non-accredited faith-based colleges.
Contact: Website

9 Comments on Member of SMN Comes Out As a Gay

  1. I pray that the gay has not spread through the SMN compound. I shall say a prayer for your well being at tonight’s bible study.

    • I don’t know what to say. Haha
      I’m speechless
      I never read such a level of ignorance
      But don’t worry, we the gays do not take you seriously, we just enjoy reading and visiting this site to have a good laugh at people like you.
      Any way, i could bable for hours with hate but i won’t since it would be disrespectful to your beliefs, it’s called respect, you could use some

  2. Sounds like a scary situation for your staff. I pray for them and SMN Ministries and that this filthy, worthless gay-homosexual is aptly punished for his effort to infiltrate and spread the gay to the staff and to all the masturbation addicts who’re being treated by your staff. Please God dispatch this beat-fiend to Hell immediately.

    • ‘. . . and spread the gay . . . .’ And what was the gay’s name? How nameaphobic! Sounds like a good time was ‘had’ by all though, especially when you’re asking ‘god’ to dispatch ‘this beat-fiend’ (clever) to hell. By ‘hell’ I’m sure you mean one of the gay meccas like San Francisco, NYC, etc.

  3. That’s right kids Jimmy’s back! I’ll be spewing filth and trying to arrange a circle jerk with Lonnie, jasper centaur and carlos danger, then truffle amd cathy redmound will clean us up and revive our flaccid penises so that we can explore each other’s sin caves into the wee hours of the morning.


  4. I almost forgot to mention liam. I sure hope that he wears that sexy cowboy hat to the circle jerk. I tell you that boy is one sexy rump ranger!

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