A Sad Story, But One That Must Be Told…

..The Price of Self Rape

<Anbar Provence> A young marine, private Lance P. Henderson, of Scottsdale, AZ, was deployed to the Anbar Provence of Afghaninstasia to assist in executing the terror wars. His duties, clearly defined by his company commander, included patrol duties around a mountainous terrain where enemy confrontation was somewhat likely.

Before his first patrol, his platoon leader mentioned that it was okay to sexually relieve himself with his hand in the back of the head (“head” is military for “bathroom”). “Do it During the night, when everyone else is asleep to forgo any shame on your part,” was the advice he was given.

The young marine crept to the corner stall of his squad bay head to apply masturbation to his sinstick. Five minutes later, a mortar round hit the exact spot in the building where the marine was self raping his stiff member. His brains were blown out. His face was unrecognisable from the explosion. Only his dog tags could identify him. A closed casket funeral was in store for his grieving family.

“Better his family believe their son died a hero,” was his Sargent’s words before closing the casket.

Maybe it is best that the family does not know that their son died in shame and his soul is now roasting in the eternal fires of hell.

Such a sad story to relate to you of Lonnie faith, but a story that needs to be told.

Stop Masturbation Now, for your time is short on this earth.

About Cassidy Pen 80 Articles
Cornelius Bartholomew “Cassidy” Pen, a retired US Marine, Actor, and Security Head-Receiver at B.L.U.F.F. Female Intake, now writes for a number of nationally respected news agencies. A winner of the prestigious Bill O'Reily "No-Spin" Award, Cassidy also runs a daytime street ministry to save souls from the sin of self rape. An avid hunter and manufacturer of distilled spirits, Cassidy would probably be found deep in the woods during his free time.
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11 Comments on A Sad Story, But One That Must Be Told…

  1. He could have been using his sin stick as a mortar to fire sticky ejaculant behind enemy lines to subdue the enemy…. the question is if someone shot their load all over you what would you do? We all know fluffle would lick it up.. but each to their own I guess…

  2. What a great loss. A long time ago, in the place far, far away I used to call home, this kind of danger wasn’t an issue. We could wave around our sinsabers all we want under the safety of an ICEF shield. So remember, kids, when practicing the Force with your sinsaber, always be under the protection of a plasma shield, to protect yourself from the chucklefuck that calls himself god.

    • Indeed Master Bator, it seems the sith are at this once more. Tales spread of quite the armada spanning from their homeworld, Kokinhand…

    • I’ve been crying for over 5 minutes at your hurtful comment. I hope one day soon you see the light and allow Lonnie’s love deep inside you.

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