Etiquette

Are You A Closet-Homosexual???

 

Have you ever heard the term “Closet Homosexual?” Do you know what it means? Back in a more civilized time, Americans did not openly discuss things, such as: masturbation, mixed-race children, women’s rights, genetically modified food, The Gay, or the Democratic Party.

In those days, rather than openly discussing such disgusting topics as Masturbation, discretion was the order of the day. Knowing full-well that most masturbators of the time did so in private, a gentleman would simply refer to a masturbator as “in the closet.”

As you can imagine, not everyone knew what masturbators did to themselves in those days. When asked what masturbation was (a same-sex, sex act that someone does to themselves), the description always involved the masturbator touching the sex organs of their own gender and orgasming. In an effort to spare everyone the lengthy and disgusting explanation, society adopted the term “Closet Homosexuality.”

Now-A-Days, the Homogay community uses this as a recruiting tool to win over the hearts and minds of masturbators. This is their largest source of new hand-jobs, to date. The second Friday in the Month of October is when the Homogays strike. On “National Coming-Out Day,” homogays encourage masturbators to walk-through a symbolic closet door and announce to the world that their own same-sex genitals are no longer enough for them.

Thankfully, other main-stream holidays still exist and are celebrated afterwards, such as: “Disowning Your Son Saturday,” and “Your Palm/Their Face, Sunday.”

If you are reading this, and you masturbate in private, please do society a favor. Use the appropriate term for what you are and stop grossing-out decent people who do not masturbate.

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Proud Beta Male
Proud Beta Male
5 years ago

Does being into femdom make you a closet homosexual? I love it when my girlfriend shoves it up my anus with her strap-on, slaps my ass and calls me a racial slur. I also like sucking her toes and eating her out, while my penis is in a chastity device. She allows me to cum occasionally, but only if she is on top and after I have endured 20 strokes of the cane. My friends say this does not make me a “real man”, that I am a “cuckold” (no idea what this means) and even that I secretly crave… Read more »

Liam McKey
5 years ago

Mr. Beta,
Or is it “Masta Baita?” Anyways, you said you do not crave penis, yet you also said your girlfriend uses a fake one on you. Which is it?

A fellow masturbator
A fellow masturbator
5 years ago
Reply to  Liam McKey

“masta-baita” haha?

"Masta Baita"
"Masta Baita"
5 years ago
Reply to  Liam McKey

Somes days I wonder if the people who write these really earned these “Degrees” or if like the text in the “Story”, Its just text on the screen.

Cliff Burton
Cliff Burton
5 years ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPfkK7bcyfE What the hell’s going on around here? First off-let’s take it from the start Straight out-can’t change what’s in my heart No one-can tear my beliefs apart, you can’t bring me You ain’t-never seen no one like me Prevail-regardless what the cost might be Power-flows inside of me, you can’t bring me Never-fall as long as I try Refuse-to be a part of your lie Even-if it means I die, you can’t bring me You…can’t…bring…me…down! Who the hell you calling crazy? You wouldn’t know what crazy was If Charles Manson was eating fruit loops on your front porch…. Time… Read more »

Liam McKey
5 years ago

Cliff,
Suicidal Tendencies karaoke time is over. Stop masturbating.

Cliff Burton
Cliff Burton
5 years ago
Reply to  Liam McKey

I only masturbate after shows, and if there are no groupies of either sex, so there, I mean hell, asshole.

Bill
Bill
5 years ago

I think I caught a masturbator on Omegle You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You both like Roleplay. You: Hi Stranger: Hey You: Asl? Stranger: F 18 USA You: 18 M NC You: How are you? Stranger: I’m Julia, doing well how about you? You: I’m doing well as well, thank you. I’m James and it’s nice to meet you Julia Stranger: I like your name 🙂 You: Thank you. You: Well, I have a sexual scenario if you are interested. Stranger: I am, let’s hear it 🙂 You: School ended recently and I started my summer… Read more »

Gay Dude
Gay Dude
5 years ago

I masturbate I’m 13 I am also gay how many other ways can you hate me ??

Cliff Burton
Cliff Burton
5 years ago
Reply to  Gay Dude

Are you a metalhead? If so, what is your favorite band? And are you not white?

"Masta Baita"
"Masta Baita"
5 years ago
Reply to  Gay Dude

Are you also a black male or a islamic male, Who wears their hair long, wears a bra, and high heels?

Alex
Alex
5 years ago

I find this very funny, correct me if I’m wrong, Christianity shames homosexuals and masturbaters. Also sex before marriage is wrong, then why am I shamed.

I am an asexual (I find myself not being attracted to any gender), a virgin and I don’t masturbate.

Why do you shame me?

Liam McKey
5 years ago

Gay Dude. If you are 13, and male, you shouldn’t be having sex at all. That includes homosexual acts as well as masturbation.

Johnny jizzpants
Johnny jizzpants
5 years ago

I masturbated while reading this

xboxlive44
4 years ago

I masturbated while reading this as well.

Probably not Mettaton
4 years ago

I am an 18 year old woman who masturbates to gay glamour robot porn. So I dunno… sin 5ever?

Smokin Jim
Smokin Jim
4 years ago

Masturbation is perfectly normal and harmless. All this talk about it being harmful is just fear talking. What is this Liam guy so afraid of? That he’s really a homosexual and afraid to face it? It’s pretty obvious to me, and anyone else with a brain, that it’s the truth.

Cam
Cam
4 years ago

You claim to be Christian, and I don’t have a issue with that. What I have a issue with is the fact that you feel the need to make everyone agree with you and your need to force your opion on Everyone. so who’s th real bad guy here ?