Have you ever heard the term “Closet Homosexual?” Do you know what it means? Back in a more civilized time, Americans did not openly discuss things, such as: masturbation, mixed-race children, women’s rights, genetically modified food, The Gay, or the Democratic Party.
In those days, rather than openly discussing such disgusting topics as Masturbation, discretion was the order of the day. Knowing full-well that most masturbators of the time did so in private, a gentleman would simply refer to a masturbator as “in the closet.”
As you can imagine, not everyone knew what masturbators did to themselves in those days. When asked what masturbation was (a same-sex, sex act that someone does to themselves), the description always involved the masturbator touching the sex organs of their own gender and orgasming. In an effort to spare everyone the lengthy and disgusting explanation, society adopted the term “Closet Homosexuality.”
Now-A-Days, the Homogay community uses this as a recruiting tool to win over the hearts and minds of masturbators. This is their largest source of new hand-jobs, to date. The second Friday in the Month of October is when the Homogays strike. On “National Coming-Out Day,” homogays encourage masturbators to walk-through a symbolic closet door and announce to the world that their own same-sex genitals are no longer enough for them.
Thankfully, other main-stream holidays still exist and are celebrated afterwards, such as: “Disowning Your Son Saturday,” and “Your Palm/Their Face, Sunday.”
If you are reading this, and you masturbate in private, please do society a favor. Use the appropriate term for what you are and stop grossing-out decent people who do not masturbate.